@AutisticAdam @actuallyautistic if you ask me: how are you? Be prepared for an honest answer 😂
@Uniflame @AutisticAdam @actuallyautistic
As an answer to a ritual “How are you?”…
“Not bad.” is honest.
A detailed infodump is selfish.
Yes, the infodump is what comes to your mind first. But my advice is to learn to resist the impulse to overshare. At least check in first: “Do you really want to know the answer to that?” or “Oh man, it’s been rough (or awesome or whatever)” and wait for an explicit signal like “Do tell!” before going on.
"A detailed infodump is selfish."
It's possible this is just me, and I read this at the wrong time, but...
Calling it selfish seems more than a little judgmental and negative. One of those words that leads to after-the-fact self-flagellation because we did it wrong, not the way NTs do it, we're terrible, awful people. That seems unnecessary.
And now you're doubling down. Yeah, that pretty much tells me who you are.
K thankx bye.
@ScottSoCal @Uniflame @AutisticAdam @actuallyautistic
I’m specifically talking about going from zero to infodump in response to a casual “How’s it going?”. Infodumping is awesome, but only when it’s consensual.
ND people can be selfish just like NTs can. Using words with clear meanings is good, and discomfort is not harm, and the fact that the way A describes B’s behavior makes B uncomfortable doesn’t mean A is wrong. Eschew euphemisms.
But please, if you have a better descriptor than “selfish” to describe “suddenly talking past and over someone to satisfy your own internal urge to be fully understood without first confirming that your audience actually wants to spend their own precious time and attention and effort on understanding you”, I’m all ears. “I didn’t mean to be selfish” or “I was just giving an honest answer” are both explanations but not excuses for being selfish.
To be clear: I have been on both sides of awkward greetings, with all types of people. This is not an NT-vs-ND issue — NDs can be quite annoying to other NDs when their infodump interests collide, and NTs can be annoying in the same and different ways. “How to perform the greeting ritual protocol fluidly” advice is universal.