Patient request from an emergency medicine casebook I'm reading: "I want a depo shot and a panic attack."
That chapter also features someone spreading weed on a finger for pain relief (it didn't work, but they did let him keep the weed), an impromptu nose piercing with a bullet (don't run towards the gunshots!), a teen putting lemonade in a urine test cup ("the lemonade was sterile, and the pregnancy test was negative"), and quote "I'm not sexually active, I'm married" (which I'm not entirely sure how to interpret)
The outcome is also intriguing: "We referred the patient to the OB/GYN clinic for her 'depo shot,' but we did not provide her with a 'panic attack.'"