All right, I read crappy free-on-amazon sff ebooks, mostly for laughs. Free-on-amazon in sff usually means shifter romance, so I have become inured to a certain level of terrible euphemism. However --
terrible euphemisms in context
However, in one book I have encountered both "he wanted to beat his fleshen tool into her maiden sex" and "hard pole of seeking invasion" in just the first two chapters, and
Follow
and between that and an extra high level of free-on-amazon basic-level grammar torture (as in, we're not talking intentional distortions to make a point or for art, but failures of the building blocks of elemental, bare, sentence structure), I'm not sure I'll make it through this one.
I survived quiverfull vampires and that one author who took THREE SELF-CONGRATULATORY BOOKS to get to his inciting incident, but I might not make it through this one.