Esme Povirk @madewokherd@computerfairi.es

Being "normal" is a scam. Go wild

So this poll supports what I suspected - a bunch of guides treat tape as the most common tucking method and lead with that, but that’s the least common for trans fems. Drag queens use tape a lot because their costumes and performances require a really tight and secure tuck. But what trans women are most often looking for is more the everyday casual support for alleviating dysphoria and helping clothes sit the way they want them to on their bodies. And we generally aren’t jumping around and dancing on stage in our day to day life.

And this also matches what I’m seeing in studies on transfems and tucking too.

Just seems that so many of these assume basically that drag queen style tucking is the most common. Most of the “risks” discussed in these guides are also only applicable to that method, with suggestions like shaving beforehand. And this rubs me the wrong way - there’s a lot of trans-related support out there that never involves a trans woman in the process.

Gisele Pelicot’s ex husband sentenced to twenty years in prison - and all fifty of the men tried with him have been found guilty and will serve jail time. Shame HAS changed sides.

I’m incredibly grateful for what Gisele has accomplished. She flipped the narrative. She gave up her right to privacy and anonymity so that the whole world could see what these monsters did to her. She refused to be made into a victim, refused to be blamed or shamed for what they did to her.

I wrote an article about her story - the role medical misogyny played in what happened to her and why ‘Not All Men’ rings hollow to us right now.

I expressly said that now is NOT the time to yell ‘Not All Men’ at us - because in this particular case - it was a great many men. Men from all ages, backgrounds and walks of life.

It was her own husband of fifty years. Her neighbour. Fathers and husbands. It was too many men.

The men who were approached by her husband and declined to assault Gisele? They didn’t go to the police. They didn’t get her help. They patted themselves on the back for being ‘good men’ for simply not raping an unconscious woman.

The worst part? We may never know how many of them there were.

I was scared to share this article. I was afraid of blowback from people who are unwilling and/or unable to accept just how bad rape culture is. How deep the rot of patriarchy goes.

One of the first comments I got was a man telling me to stop painting all men as rapists. That most men are ‘very fond’ of women. That he ‘likes them a lot’ and that I shouldn’t worry so much because he’s sending me a hug.

He literally commented with ‘not all men’ on an article pleading with men to stop yelling over us. And he saw absolutely nothing wrong with this. In fact - he went on to say that this case is an anomaly and it’s what prisons are for - but most men are good and I need to recognize that.

Let me say this one more time - the ONLY thing about this case that’s an anomaly is the sheer scope and horror of it.

Rape is not an anomaly. It’s almost never perpetrated by a stranger. The vast majority of rapes are committed by someone the woman knew and trusted and believed to be a ‘good man.’

You don’t know until it’s too late - and that’s exactly why we’re asking you to stop saying ‘Not All Men.’

Please - listen to us. Learn. Speak up FOR us instead of OVER us. Be an ally and condemn these acts instead of trying to act like they’re the outliers. They aren’t.

This happens too damn much, we are fed up, and we won’t be silent any longer.

Shame IS changing sides and it will be because we won’t back down.

https://www.disabledginger.com/p/gisele-pelicot-medical-misogyny-and

#giselepelicot #abuse #sexualassault #notallmen #misogyny #patriarchy #rapeculture

Trans visibility is one of those genies that transphobes are terrified they can't put back in the bottle.

I can't even tell you how blown away Jess of 1995 would have been if she could see an honest to God trans woman being sworn in to the US Congress. Shaking hands and smiling at the cameras with the minority leader and other Caucus leaders. Casting votes in the halls of power on the behalf of hundreds of thousands of people from her state who knew exactly who she was and wanted her to represent them.

Or that there are trans musicians with millions and millions of fans
Trans actors
Trans engineers
Trans rocket scientists
Trans doctors.

And even that a trans woman could be a normal suburban housewife, living with her wife and kids, going to the PTA and helping out with bake sales and just living her life. Most folks in the neighborhood know she's trans, and simply don't care.

Sure, 1995 Jess had found that 'transsexuals' existed, in porn or on Jerry Springer or deeply stealth. But she didn't know that we could be normal. Respected. Loved. Successful. Or even ... that people could know who you are, and find it ... Normal. Boring. Like that being trans is the 4th most interesting thing about you.

Of course they're going to fight like hell to try to cram us back in the closet. At times, violently so. But it's going to prove impossible for them to do so.

A thought I keep coming back to:

If programming is a large part of your life (professionally or not), then it's remarkably difficult to completely waste your time while programming.

It often _feels_ like it, whenever you didn't solve the immediate problem. But skill is your most important resource, and every line you write trains and builds skill.

Even code you shouldn't have written, or that reviewers hate, or that doesn't work.

Sometimes it's _only_ practice – but that's still not nothing!

If you are hosting a holiday gathering where #autistic or #ADHD folk will attend (or anyone else who would benefit), please consider setting up a #ChillRoom as a quiet space where they can go to escape the sensory overwhelm and draining socializing. It's not that ND folk don't want to be part of the action, but we can get worn out easily and a place where we can isolate and recharge lets us avoid overdoing things and so get the most out of the party.

You can ask people what they might like in a chill room, but snacks, family photo albums, coffee table books, plushies, puzzles, playing cards, comic books, fidget toys, and lego bricks are all reasonable things to try. And it doesn't have to be a solo space – a quiet, out-of-the-way spot to sit and have a conversation is also nice. Protip: If there is an aquarium in the home, use that to anchor the chill space. Nothing beats a good fish tank for chilling out, though a window with a picturesque view is a close second.

If you're someone who would like to have a chill room available at someone else's holiday gathering, try asking them to set one up, or maybe offer to help set it up if that's not too much trouble. Sometimes all you have to do is ask.

Good luck with your holidays, make an effort to include the people whose needs usually get overlooked, and don't let anyone make you feel bad for not being able to keep up with the neurotypical social norms.

#ActuallyAutistic #AuDHD #neurodivergent

The effect of AI is to reduce the cost of •generating code• by a factor of X at the cost of increasing the cost of •thinking about the problem• by a factor of Y.

And yes, Y>1. A thing non-developers do not understand about code is that coding a solution is a deep way of understanding a problem — and conversely, using code that’s dropped in your lap greatly increases the amount of problem that must be understood.

3/

My latest article is about the shooting of CEO Brian Thompson and how NYC Mayor Adams seems poised to use it as an excuse to bring in a ban on masks (which he’s wanted to do for awhile).

Mask bans are discriminatory, ableist and put lives at risk.

We are still IN an airborne pandemic. Everyone - whether disabled or not - should have the legal right to protect themselves from infection.

People need masks for all kinds of reasons. Pollution, wildfire smoke, allergies AND Covid. No one should be forced to risk their health because a necessary medical device has been criminalized for absolutely no reason.

Make no mistake - these bans won’t stop crime. Studies have shown that sunglasses obscure identity more effectively.

The only reason to ban masks is to pander to those on the right still angry about mask mandates - and to make it easier for the government to surveil its citizens.

Ironically those who screamed the loudest about freedom and bodily autonomy during mask mandates are eerily quiet about mask bans - despite the fact that they represent escalating fascism and government overreach.

We really are on our own.

Please - mask up. Do it in solidarity with disabled people who NEED masks in order to safely access public spaces. Do it to support the Covid aware people who just want to avoid infection. Do it to send a message to the government that you don’t believe anyone is expendable. Do it to protect our right to mask in the future.

It’s not too late - but we must get loud, work fast and wear our masks.

https://www.disabledginger.com/p/nyc-mayor-wants-to-ban-masks-in-the

#maskbans #nomaskbans #noNYmaskban #covidisairborne #covidisnotover #sarscov2 #wearamask #respirator #brianthompson #luigimangione #ableism #discrimination #disabilityrights #disabilityjustice #maskup

now that it has come to light that Luigi Mangione 100%ed FEZ i would like to officially take credit and say that my videogame made him do it

Hate is a sticky substance. It clings to you, seeps into your bones, and becomes the defining feature of who you are if you let it. There’s something undeniably appealing about it — this feeling that your disdain, your disgust, your burning dislike for a person, a group, or an ideology can somehow make you sharper, smarter, or morally superior.

https://www.joanwestenberg.com/how-defining-yourself-by-what-you-hate-makes-you-miserable/

So if any of you were wondering how the hell to get to about:config in firefox for android. Now that it doesn't work since how ever long its been.
This : "chrome://geckoview/content/config.xhtml" is the URL for it now. Idk why they thought only nightly needed about:config.

Not a sub-toot per se, just an evergreen sentiment I think about often:

If sexual orientation was a choice I would still choose to be gay.

I love being gay. I hate bigotry.

I love being a lesbian. I hate a social system that prioritizes cis straight men and actively oppresses everyone else.

I love being queer. I hate rigid expectations and rules about self expression.

I love to love women. My attraction to women is one of my favourite parts of me.

To love women goes against so much of what I was taught about the world.
So many people hate women, including women themselves.

To love women is an act of defiance against so many systems of oppression.

To love women is to love myself.

I am not a fan of the messaging that not having a choice in our identity (gender, race, sexual orientation, etc) somehow makes it more important to protect than if it was a choice.
I want choice and agency to also be important and protected.

We see how dangerous it can be when a person’s choice about their own life is deemed not important.
Entire laws are created to control women and their choices about their own bodies, including their choice to use the public washroom they feel most comfortable in, or going through nearly a year of body transformations to give birth to a child the world will let die to guns or bombs or starvation.

I think about all of this when I think about being gay.

A PSA for people active on #Bluesky: your block list is PUBLIC information.

A website that tracks Bluesky stats – which I am not naming here on purpose – makes this job super easy: you can enter *any* username and see the accounts any user has blocked.

(Yes I tested it with my account and was horrified)

I'm alarmed by this because the information could be weaponized for abuse.

Muting may be the safer choice then?

Please read up about Bluesky here: https://dustycloud.org/blog/how-decentralized-is-bluesky/ (by @cwebber)