i wish i also felt positive in being trans but for me it's all struggle and little payoff and seeing others celebrate it without me feels very othering
i've been on hrt for 8 years and all i got was this lousy t-shirt. i can't feel like one of the girls and i can't feel like one of the other girls either.
maybe i just won't fit in no matter what gender or homones i have in my meat shell.
@mavica_again i’m
never going to fit in either, but that was never my goal. I only wanted to be happy with myself
@bri_seven fitting in was never so much a goal as it is something i yearn for to be happy with myself
i'm a social creature. i've been left with nothing but my own devices for almost 3 decades. i want to be pestered. i want to be a part of something.
@bri_seven being adjacent but not part of groups and cliques and just sitting on the outside looking in triggers my rejection sensitivity heavily and i need to carefully curate my feed of most sources of that. which ends up in me isolating myself more, the irony is not lost on me, but it's how i've survived so far.
i don't know what i need exactly. but i know what i missing and i cry about it a lot
@bri_seven envy and rsd suck. i'll never be free of them and venting is the only solace i have