All these existing marches are dumb and lame. I hereby declare it's Minotaur March!
Minotaur facts 1: Minotaurs love earrubs. They may be shy about it, but after one or two gorings they'll accept their feelings and happily partake
Minotaur facts 2: Minotaurs don't like linoleum floors. Hooves. Poor traction.
Minotaur facts 3: Minotaurs are immune to floor lego. However, as they are architects at heart, the destruction of the bricks underhoof will enrage them. Keep your lego clean and off the floor!
Feel free to submit your own fun minotaur facts!
Minotaur facts 4: As the days get colder, minotaurs are attracted to the warmth of laps so check yours before standing up.
Minotaur facts 5: The venerable labrys is a traditional weapon of the minotaur, but they can freely wield swords, spears, hammers, pliers, soldering irons and small hobbyist computers!
Minotaur facts 6: Minotaurs do not get lost in labyrinths, but rather have formed a symbiotic relationship with them thanks to a developed spatial cunning. However, they are still straightforward creatures at heart and do not take well to labyrinthine bureaucracy. Red tape is like a red cloth to them.
Minotaur facts 7: Minotaurs come in all shapes and sizes. Do not doubt for a second however that this implies any difference in strength--they are all equally capable of crushing your lungs in loving hugs or vicious suplexes, depending on your relationship with them.
Minotaur facts 8: A minotaur's love of complexities can be their own doing. Give them a problem to solve and they'll focus on it until the day passes and they've forgotten to do their laundry. Speaking of which.
Minotaur facts 9: Corollary to there being minotaurs of various ungulates, they make fast friends with other unguligrade fantastic folk, including satyrs!
Minotaur fact 11: Where most hardcore people would turn a knob to 11 and yank the knob off, hardcore minotaurs will turn it to 12 and break the varistor or potentiometer inside the casing.
Minotaur facts 12: [this fact is currently unavailable due to technical difficulties. Please try again later.]
Minotaur facts 13: Minotaurs are of a like mind with all of civilization that static electricity is bullshit. Ow. Heck. WHY IS EVERYTHING ZAPPING ME
Minotaur facts 14: You know the minotaurs up in Abalathia's Spine? They may look dangerous, but they're soft and huggable! Don't let the aggressive icon sway you!
Minotaur facts 15: Anyone who tries to sow doubt of the validity of these minotaur facts bears a familial connection to Theseus, infamous minotaur racist and all-around jerk. Do not listen to their lies.
Minotaur facts 10: The belief that they can only subsist on people is patently false. They are happily omnivorous and enjoy the occasional salad with their human sacrifice.