Am I going to need to install Linux on it and then install Window 11 again?
But we were not out of the woods yet... When we got to the step where you need to connect to a wifi network it didn't show any. Turns out it didn't have any drivers for the wifi card. That took some manual searching in the Microsoft update catalog:
The error I get in the BSOD is SYSTEM_THREAD_EXCEPTION_NOT_HANDLED in Ntfs.sys.
I feel that's not a lot of information to go on.