so i found the more permanent solution to my keyboard woes and it is -
get this, y'all. just admire the level of idiotic choices of jury-rigging i and many others have stooped to.
- to keep windows from reinstalling the internal keyboard drivers after you uninstall them so you can use an external keyboard with your laptop, you instead tell it to turn off all the safeties and choose a driver for the internal keyboard that absolutely does not work, fooling it into obsolescence
this is the internet equivalent of getting medicine in a childproof cap that's also so adultproof that to open it you had to get out your bandsaw and hack it open. i have literally broken it into working.
COMPUTERS, EVERYBODY!