i feel like i have just seen a downright terrifying level of Horse Girl that i can never aspire to achieve
@wigglytuffitout i feel like it says something deep and integral about me as a person that I looked at that image and my first thought was not "what the fuck who tries to do reiki healing on a horse" but rather, "I find this person's choices of chakra touch points to be Highly Questionable, especially the heart point right in front of the withers, I mean what is even up with that???"
@wigglytuffitout adorn your horse's show tack with purified crystals to smooth out the energy vibes while in the ring
@InspectorCaracal someone has one hundred fucking percent done this
@wigglytuffitout if i had thought of it as a fourteen year old
i would have done it
@InspectorCaracal just think of the thriving etsy business you coulda had by now
@wigglytuffitout ......wait
holy shit
@InspectorCaracal if you want to do this shit for racehorses
huge
fucking Huge.
you just have to find some modicum of success first, just enough to seem lucky, and rake in the cash
get cheap shit, hot-glue stones onto it, sell on etsy for massive profit probably to somebody in Arizona who goes by Ravyn Midnite
@wigglytuffitout race horses? harp
harp have you seen Western shows
@InspectorCaracal oh the western shows are an absolute given. that's your bread and butter right there
but if you want to have an embarrassment of riches, go read the auras of racehorses
offer a special internet divination to help people find the right stud baby-horse-batter to order
????, PROFIT
@wigglytuffitout i'm literally never going to do this but you know what I MIGHT do
I might write a book someday about someone who reads horse auras
@wigglytuffitout that'd be a great premise for a Rural Fantasy series
with Rural Fantasy being the country counterpart to Urban Fantasy
@InspectorCaracal we've found THE PERFECT IMPLAUSIBLE YET TERRIFYINGLY PLAUSIBLE JOKE PROFESSION.
also may i suggest modern fantasy, person who does this wakes up one day to realize their scam has turned into "oh fuck what the fuck is that an aura oh FUCK"
@wigglytuffitout lmao no that's not really my style but you can have that one xD I would have it be Actual Aura Reading up front
real charms and stuff
@wigglytuffitout it's like the Dresden Files except instead of being a wizard private detective involved in the supernatural urban underground and crazy fairy shit, you're like
you run a tack shop and read auras and sell supernatural supplies in the back room to your Special Clientele
@wigglytuffitout there's an entire book about something weird going on at the local Tractor Supply
your favorite werewolf park ranger has gone missing and you have to track down what happened
@InspectorCaracal are they now a like fantasy equivalent of James Herriot (but now western) and also a detective novel
because i'd read the hell out of that
@wigglytuffitout I mean I wasn't thinking a vet but a vet could be good too
but in terms of tone, yeah, like James Herriot, except not the *English* countryside >.>
@InspectorCaracal i think you just have described a book i never knew i wanted but desperately want
@wigglytuffitout JOIN ME IN MY LONGING
@InspectorCaracal i will tuck that alongside my other grand awful cheap pulpy modern fantasy ideas, like "arranged marriage romance but for weird millennials: mom reveals she accidentally made deal with fairy that if her daughter was unmarried at 30, and if fairy's kid was also unmarried, they'd just hitch 'em. protagonist is unfazed by mother's panic, asks the fairies about their healthcare plan, and excitedly declares that fuck it, it's better than working at walmart"
@wigglytuffitout i would read this lmao
@InspectorCaracal "wow! you must really have some fantastic latent magical talent, if you were able to cast your very first spell by, in fact, gathering magical energies to yourself and manifesting magical powers within you!"
"I JUST WANT TO TURN IT OFF. EVERYTHING LOOKS LIKE TECHNICOLOR VOMIT. I HATE COLORS SO MUCH NOW"
@InspectorCaracal there's got to be a market of weirdos that will go "well as long as i'm paying several thousand for a cup of horse sperm, why WOULDN'T i spend an extra 200 dollars making sure that it's a good choice aura-wise?"
15 seconds with a random number generator and bam, you get paid
@wigglytuffitout that would be amazing