What my shithead brain says about talking to people:

""I just realised that, if someone doesn't talk to you for a week, there's a reason why, and you shouldn't talk to them again. Because you're just going to feel insecure about how they feel about you and when that boils up you're probably going to hurt them so.

I guess my advice is? Take the hint. If someone doesn't talk to you for a week then just don't contact them again until they want to talk to you. If they forget about you, then you've got your answer for how they feel about you, without hurting them or forcing them to care about you or feel guilty about you.""

Yeah no this is false it's just a scummy thing from my brain never mind
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@alexandria hey, recognizing when your scumbag brain is being a shitty little liar is a very important step, and being able to correct is is something you can be proud of!

@wigglytuffitout but if i can't stop it from being a scumbag and can't cope with the feelings and end up lashing out is that really something to be proud of

@alexandria i'm going to say yes, actually

the first step in overcoming any problem is recognizing it's a problem, right? it's like you're trying to find a water leak in your house somewhere. ignoring it is just going to mean it gets worse. you're at the stage where you're able to listen really quiet and search it out and you've finally gone "AHA! IT'S THE TOILET!".

the water leak isn't fixed *yet*, but you know there's a problem and you know where the problem is, so you *can* fix it now. :>

@alexandria sure, you're at an also unpleasant stage of things where you're rolling up your sleeves and pulling off the toilet tank cover and bracing yourself to muck around with stuff in there to see if you can fix it, or doing that and realizing you're going to need to call a plumber. i'm not going to say that you should be overjoyed to look up toilet plumbing diagnostic videos on youtube.

but it's important progress. you're on the path. you can be proud of walking it. :)

@alexandria it may seem and feel like you're making it worse, or not making any progress at all, but to just mix my metaphors freely here... it's the same thing as if you were in physical therapy recovering from an injury.

after one visit, things aren't magically fixed. that can be frustrating! it can feel like a waste of time. it can be tiring to have to do the exercises over and over.

but you're still doing it. you're still making progress. you're still getting better.

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