She's not going to fucking apologize but like. Damn. Ive been trying so hard to be nice and understanding about the bullshit she's been putting out but i can't stop being pissed about that convo last night. Like. The audacity.

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Sorry but im still really pissed off that my mom was like "you spent the Christmas money we gave you for student loans on something else" (I spent it on food and rent because I had too and she knows this) as a gotcha for why I'm actually irresponsible when I literally flew across the fucking country to take care of my dad, and then when he fucking DIED, to take care of my mom

My aunt wants to talk with me on the phone. I dont want to talk about my feelings or what support I need. I want to go the fuck to sleep.

Pet illness, unsanitary 

Not like I can drive but are vets even open??? Dammit we really don't have time to deal with this right now

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Pet illness, unsanitary 

Mom yesterday like, "Itty Bitty doesn't have a UTI! Last time he had a UTI he was pissing blood!"

Me this morning, like clockwork: *cleaning bloody piss off the floor*

I know I should finish scrubbing the bathroom but im so emotionally drained so instead im laying in bed and looking at clothes on asos that I won't end up buying

I keep trying to do things and I know she's just processing out loud but she keeps talking about stuff that has to be done or stuff that i was planning to to in a few minutes anyway and im going crazy

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Understand that I know my mother is under so much stress and so ultimately I blame her for nothing rn and just need to vent,

But if she doesn't stop adding talking to me about things that need to be done every time i sit down on the toilet i will scream

Death talk 

I'm really worried im gonna fly home and my dad is going to die anyway

So tired... but i really need to do laundry today... and wash the sheets so really thats 2 loads... and I wanted to clean the bathroom and sweep the stairs and kitchen and take out the trash.... ugh this list is too long Im going to sleep

Gross, mold 

ugh... looks like my black heels molded in storage.... my blue ones did too a while back but I optimistically thought they were the only casualty

oh my gosh i have been on the phone with i swear to gosh every single member of my family today it is only noon and im EXHAUSTED

I was gonna take a shower but I guess its gonna have to happen first thing in the morning

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Ugh... my mom said she'd "call me soon" and its been 5 hours now.... I'm so sleepy but this call is important.... www

Writing professional emails with exclamation marks when you're really feeling a period and ellipses kinda way

Idk spacially im like. This is big enough that im 5000% like calm and laser focused on my 10000 thing to do list but also there's a part of me thats like. What the fuck. What the fuck???

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