@noiob and fidning out Jim has the EXACT SAME FUCKING PROBLEM WITH READING AS I DO is ...

i legit started crying. god i genuinely cannot fucking read books now. i used to love fucking doing it, I used to read SO GODDAMN MUCH and now I can't so muich as pick one up and read more than a few words in a paragraph before I endup finding myself re-reading the damn passage AGAIN. god. fuck.

@Nine yeah same, I used to hyperfocus through books within hours as a child, though I still can read them if I force myself to actually get into them

@noiob @Nine huh... here I was thinking ability to focus enough to read books dropping off over time was just an us thing...

@IceWolf @noiob @Nine
I also used to c o n s u m e books and often hyperfocused on them to the point of being unable to sleep until finishing a story. That love died in high school and I honestly don't know why. I can't force myself to read books anymore because I know I'll lose interest part-way through and give up ever returning to it. Audiobooks while I'm travelling are my only working solution right now.. so I haven't read anything in a year.

@mawr @noiob @Nine blrrf. 🧡

for me, I've found I can somewhat read if I can just force myself to read long enough that I get into Reading Mode. At least. Back when I tried it uhhh probably over a year ago. >,,>

@IceWolf @mawr @noiob just getting to that starting point though is super, super, SUPER hard in the first place though huh? Like, I have books I absolutely adore... I have read Watership Down like, eight times my entire life. Four of those times were before I was even 13. Miq bought me a copy of it, as a physical book, with a beautiful custom made cover for one of my birthdays a few years back. It's one of my most treasured possessions. I've read it precisely once. since :<

@Nine @IceWolf @noiob

Yeah. Then there's the books I could never read. Technical documents and legal documents are indecipherable to me; the only way I can understand them is if I translate them into simpler language, sometimes word-by-word. Books I associate with those things are incredibly "slippery" -- trying to force myself to read them is about as easy as trying to force myself to jump off a cliff into the ocean (and I'm afraid of heights. )

@mawr @IceWolf @noiob hhhhhhh forms, forms are a fucking nightmare. any time i have to fill in a form I have to legit take several moments to gear myself up for it because every part of my brain screams in abject terror at having ot fill in a form god io FUCKING HATE FORMS.

@Nine @IceWolf @noiob
One of the more unfortunate things about this is I associate most Tabletop RPG books in that category, so I really struggle with most Tabletop RPGs.

@mawr @IceWolf @noiob GOD. SAME.
AGH.

like "jeez you say you love tabletop rping but you never read any of the books" and like

GOD

I WISH I FUCKING COULD READ THE DAMN BOOKS

"you've got them right the-"

IRRELEVANT. LITERALLY, PHYSICALLY CANNOT READ THEM. like god you think i'm not reading them because I 'can't be bothered'? No, my brain physically rejects the possibility I could even open the fucking things. EVEN THE BOOK I HELPED WRITE.

@Nine @IceWolf @noiob YUP

I can only force myself to read that stuff if lives and/or livelihoods literally depend on it. I have a very clear understanding of California Tenant Law, for example, because I was Head of Household for a few communes there, and we would have been fucked 5 or 6 ways over the years if I hadn't taken the time to translate every word of the law that applied to actual tenants. ^^;