@revenant ....yyyiikkkeesss....
@purple do not encourage my brain it is bad and belongs in the pear wiggler.
(based on a true story that literally just happened I swear to fuck my brain is legitimately trying to kill me holy fuck. I VERY NEARLLY actually touched it too before I realised)
me: *takes baking stone out of the oven after its first half of its first seasoning*
My brain: "hey touch it to see if it's hot"
Me: yeah o-... Wait... It's JUST come out of the oven OF COURSE it's gonna be hot!
My brain: yeah but you should check to be sure
Me: yeah okay that seems legi- WAIT NO THAT'S RIDICULOUS WHY WOULD IT NOT BE?!
my brain: I double dog dare you to touch it
Me: well I TRIPLE dog dare YOU to touch it!
My brain: you're on!
Me: wait FUCK, NO. STOP IT *grabbing own hand*
HEY NINTENDO
RT @ctrlcreep@twitter.com
Artificial scarcity is an admission of weakness, a fear that in abundance you would be less valuable, less loved, incapable of filling all that time
🐦🔗: https://twitter.com/ctrlcreep/status/1344042988847181824
followup pooptoot: "...flowey you are a flower how you gonna yeet anybody without arms??"
"..."
"...didn't think about that did you?"
"YES I DID, SHUT UP. I THOUGHT OF EVERYTHING."
@Nine
Trebuczechia
@Siph@rage.love @codl putting the good back in fast food
@monorail a lesbian wakes up next to her still sleeping wife, gazes over at her, the light gently caressing her wife's peaceful features, and she blushes bright red, covering her face with a startled cry of "oh my god I... I'm a lesbian!!"
This of course wakes her wife up who groans. "Sara, that's the fourth time this week. OF COURSE you're a lesbian. We got married FOUR YEARS AGO."
"I know, but GOD YOU'RE SO HOT"
"...I love you too but god, please let me sleep in for once?"
"CAN'T. TOO GAY"
@pup_hime Ooo damn that's... that's genuinely a really nice looking HOTAS too
@pup_hime Ooooh which ya get?
@monorail psh, with that attitude, yeah.
However I support disaster lesbians strong enough to have multiple lesbian awakenings in one lifetime.
You go, you beautiful gay catastrophes.
yeah i'm moving over to chitter.xyz now. Soooo go there! I'm there now.