@purple do not encourage my brain it is bad and belongs in the pear wiggler.
(based on a true story that literally just happened I swear to fuck my brain is legitimately trying to kill me holy fuck. I VERY NEARLLY actually touched it too before I realised)
me: *takes baking stone out of the oven after its first half of its first seasoning*
My brain: "hey touch it to see if it's hot"
Me: yeah o-... Wait... It's JUST come out of the oven OF COURSE it's gonna be hot!
My brain: yeah but you should check to be sure
Me: yeah okay that seems legi- WAIT NO THAT'S RIDICULOUS WHY WOULD IT NOT BE?!
my brain: I double dog dare you to touch it
Me: well I TRIPLE dog dare YOU to touch it!
My brain: you're on!
Me: wait FUCK, NO. STOP IT *grabbing own hand*
HEY NINTENDO
RT @ctrlcreep@twitter.com
Artificial scarcity is an admission of weakness, a fear that in abundance you would be less valuable, less loved, incapable of filling all that time
🐦🔗: https://twitter.com/ctrlcreep/status/1344042988847181824
followup pooptoot: "...flowey you are a flower how you gonna yeet anybody without arms??"
"..."
"...didn't think about that did you?"
"YES I DID, SHUT UP. I THOUGHT OF EVERYTHING."
@Nine
Trebuczechia
@Siph@rage.love @codl putting the good back in fast food
@monorail a lesbian wakes up next to her still sleeping wife, gazes over at her, the light gently caressing her wife's peaceful features, and she blushes bright red, covering her face with a startled cry of "oh my god I... I'm a lesbian!!"
This of course wakes her wife up who groans. "Sara, that's the fourth time this week. OF COURSE you're a lesbian. We got married FOUR YEARS AGO."
"I know, but GOD YOU'RE SO HOT"
"...I love you too but god, please let me sleep in for once?"
"CAN'T. TOO GAY"
@pup_hime Ooo damn that's... that's genuinely a really nice looking HOTAS too
@pup_hime Ooooh which ya get?
@monorail psh, with that attitude, yeah.
However I support disaster lesbians strong enough to have multiple lesbian awakenings in one lifetime.
You go, you beautiful gay catastrophes.
@monorail better yet, how many do you think she had of her own?
yeah i'm moving over to chitter.xyz now. Soooo go there! I'm there now.