Ren - Moved to chitter.xyz @Nine@computerfairi.es

Still not enough for you? FUCK YOU WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT

but don't worry, we here at BROATS know what our customers really want.

A BREAKFAST THAT WILL PUT HAIRS ON YOUR CHEST. Inside every box of delicious nutritious BROATS is A FREE JAR OF PROTEIN POWDER. WE DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW IT GOT IN THEEEEERREEEEE

buy BROATS today! GET MAAAAANLYYYYYY

What's that?? Broats contain regular oats? YEAH WHAT ABOUT IT?! THEY'RE DELICIOUUUUUUS

plus you forgot about VITAMINS AND MINERAAAAAAALLLLSSSS

You thought we were done with just that?
HELL NO
we FORTIFIED it even more with LITERAL FORTIFICATIONS

Now just buying BROATS requires you to singlehandedly besiege a castle! REAL MEN ONLYYYYY!!! (trebuchetsiegeenginesarmourswordandbatteringramsoldseparately)

Broats! It's Oats, but for MEN!!!!!!
FORTIFIED with ESSENTIAL VITAMINS AND MINERALS
That's like POWERUPS IN VIDEOGAMES and ROCKS AND SHIT
THAT'S HOW MANLY YOU'LL BE, CRUNCHING ON ROCKS SO BRODACIOUSLY IT'LL MAKE YOU EVEN MANLIERRRRR
porridge??? GET THAT GOLDILOCKS CRAP OUTTA HERE!!! That's for LITTLE GIRLS who RUN AWAY FROM BEARS
With BROATS, you go into the Bears house and then THEY BECOME YOUR SERVANTS IN YOUR NEW BEAR STAFFED HOUSE!

Me: *sitting having a nice relaxing morning chilling out while pain meds kick in*
The gremlin part of my brain: Oats :D
Me: :D OATS
The OTHER gremlin part of my brain: :) broats
first gremlin part: D: no don't listen it's a tra-
Entirety of my brain: *immediately putting together a fictional ad campaign for the sort of people who would buy (and the people who would even THINK of MAKING) porridge oats marketed to gross hypermasc dudebros who are afraid of anything "girly"*
Me, G1: D8
G2: :)

you're a nasty little sewage boy, aren't you gordon?

A song I never get tired of - Die Anywhere Else from Night in the Woods - An absolutely incredible game and this particular track was my absolute fuckin' favourite. It was a joy to play in the minigame, and there's an incredible cover by MandoPony on youtube of it. CW - Death mention in the lyrics for it, flashing lights in at least one of the video, semi-eyecontact as well. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z3EKPTyUl0I . https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6kYTe25h-bU

fediverse is asleep post blahaj

me: Oooh I should have a crack at Annihilation 3 on Arknights! Yeah! Lemmie look up a guide so I can see who I have to put in my team :D
Guides: "So you're gonna wanna e2 these main operators for this and have them pretty high level and e1 all the rest and have them maxed out other than that it's simple"
me: 'w' oh... *goes back to farming Annihilation 2 instead ;w; *

places on Kami that she likes me to pet her
- head!
- chin!
- tail!
- base of tail base of tail base oof taaaillllll
- cheeks awughyeaaaah
- TUMMYTUMMYTUMMYTUMMYTUUUUM
- front paws yeah okay but only if I can also put my paws on your hand :3
- siiiiides <3
- everywhere really idk lol go hogwild!

places she does NOT like me to pet
- BACK PAWS DO NOT. DO NOT TOUCH. NO. HOW DARE YOU. NO. VERBOTEN.