A white man with a waxed mustache and red plaid flannel button-up sits in his minimalist industrial style living room sipping kombucha and staring at his succulent collection. He sighs and pulls out his phone from his Carhartt pants pocket, taking a deep breath before speaking.

"Siri, can you show me a yoga flow that will save my marriage?"

**Zandorp the Foolish** · Dec 31, 2018, 05:05

Zandorp the Foolish boosted

**Zandorp the Foolish** @PrinceFlamingo@computerfairi.es · Dec 31, 2018, 05:05

Dec 31, 2018, 05:05

Zandorp the Foolish @PrinceFlamingo@computerfairi.es

Haha, yes, hello fellow meat sacks. I, too, am a homo sapien. Please, provide me with your personal queries so we may form a pleasant social relationship.

**Zandorp the Foolish** · Dec 31, 2018, 04:52

Zandorp the Foolish boosted

**Zandorp the Foolish** @PrinceFlamingo@computerfairi.es · Dec 31, 2018, 04:52

Dec 31, 2018, 04:52

Zandorp the Foolish @PrinceFlamingo@computerfairi.es

I DON'T EXIST! I scream to myself as my actions have consequences in real time

**Zandorp the Foolish** @PrinceFlamingo@computerfairi.es · Dec 31, 2018, 16:07

**Zandorp the Foolish** @PrinceFlamingo@computerfairi.es · Dec 31, 2018, 16:07

Dec 31, 2018, 16:07

Zandorp the Foolish @PrinceFlamingo@computerfairi.es

Good morning, lovelies
Now time to boost my own jokes from last night for the morning crowd

**Zandorp the Foolish** · Dec 31, 2018, 08:45

Zandorp the Foolish boosted

**Lynnesbian** @lynnesbian@fedi.lynnesbian.space · Dec 31, 2018, 08:45

Dec 31, 2018, 08:45

Lynnesbian @lynnesbian@fedi.lynnesbian.space

CULTURAL MARXISM
VERSUS
SOCIETAL LENINISM

FIGHT

Show thread

**Zandorp the Foolish** · Dec 31, 2018, 08:36

Zandorp the Foolish boosted

**Zaeri** @Zaeri@cybre.space · Dec 31, 2018, 08:36

Dec 31, 2018, 08:36

Zaeri @Zaeri@cybre.space

@PrinceFlamingo

"You're too sensitive!" they cry.

"Stop, It's too sensitive!" they cry, as I pull out another fingernail.

**Zandorp the Foolish** @PrinceFlamingo@computerfairi.es · Dec 31, 2018, 08:25

**Zandorp the Foolish** @PrinceFlamingo@computerfairi.es · Dec 31, 2018, 08:25

Dec 31, 2018, 08:25

Zandorp the Foolish @PrinceFlamingo@computerfairi.es

Person: you're too sensitive
Me: *finger hovering over block button* hm :/// so strange :/// sorry you feel that way

**Zandorp the Foolish** · Dec 31, 2018, 05:37

Zandorp the Foolish boosted

**Vampyre, Esq.** @densetsu@mspsocial.net · Dec 31, 2018, 05:37

Dec 31, 2018, 05:37

Vampyre, Esq. @densetsu@mspsocial.net

I know your cat is perfect, but mine is perfect, too. #catsofmastodon

783db6322dcc9134.jpg

**Zandorp the Foolish** · Dec 31, 2018, 08:04

Zandorp the Foolish boosted

**Lumb** @Lumb@lamp.institute · Dec 31, 2018, 08:04

Dec 31, 2018, 08:04

Lumb @Lumb@lamp.institute

All trees are sexy, some of them just don't know it.

**Zandorp the Foolish** · Dec 31, 2018, 08:07

Zandorp the Foolish boosted

**Siph** @Siphonay@octodon.social · Dec 31, 2018, 08:07

Dec 31, 2018, 08:07

Siph @Siphonay@octodon.social

I'm not ready to change the time number

**Zandorp the Foolish** @PrinceFlamingo@computerfairi.es · Dec 31, 2018, 08:08

**Zandorp the Foolish** @PrinceFlamingo@computerfairi.es · Dec 31, 2018, 08:08

Dec 31, 2018, 08:08

Zandorp the Foolish @PrinceFlamingo@computerfairi.es

Parents: haha! Violating my child's personal boundaries is so cute! I love when they wince and try to run away from my displays of affection!

**Zandorp the Foolish** @PrinceFlamingo@computerfairi.es · Dec 31, 2018, 08:06

**Zandorp the Foolish** @PrinceFlamingo@computerfairi.es · Dec 31, 2018, 08:06

Dec 31, 2018, 08:06

Zandorp the Foolish @PrinceFlamingo@computerfairi.es

I curse the name of those who cause me the most harm in my life! Unfortunately that means i'm cursing myself so it becomes a vicious cycle

**Zandorp the Foolish** · Dec 31, 2018, 08:00

Zandorp the Foolish boosted

**Repetition Tricks** @repetition_bot@botsin.space · Dec 31, 2018, 08:00

Dec 31, 2018, 08:00

Repetition Tricks @repetition_bot@botsin.space

apparently the trick to comedy on mastodon is just repetition

**Zandorp the Foolish** @PrinceFlamingo@computerfairi.es · Dec 31, 2018, 08:01

**Zandorp the Foolish** @PrinceFlamingo@computerfairi.es · Dec 31, 2018, 08:01

Dec 31, 2018, 08:01

Zandorp the Foolish @PrinceFlamingo@computerfairi.es

You ever got a friend that like...you care about and want to emotionally support, but...the way they type when they're talkin' about heavy stuff is just like...bad fanfic dialogue? And so you're sitting there and you genuinely feel for them and you're tryna support them but the things they're typing just give you these like middle school flashbacks and you're like AAAAHHH

**Zandorp the Foolish** @PrinceFlamingo@computerfairi.es · Dec 31, 2018, 07:29

**Zandorp the Foolish** @PrinceFlamingo@computerfairi.es · Dec 31, 2018, 07:29

Dec 31, 2018, 07:29

Zandorp the Foolish @PrinceFlamingo@computerfairi.es

Could i get some hashtag #opinions on this hashtag #face i hashtag #drew
Just what you expect from this hashtag #character

#art #mastoart #doodle #sketch #pen

6f39c34b822a72d0.jpg

**Zandorp the Foolish** @PrinceFlamingo@computerfairi.es · Dec 31, 2018, 06:06

**Zandorp the Foolish** @PrinceFlamingo@computerfairi.es · Dec 31, 2018, 06:06

Dec 31, 2018, 06:06

Zandorp the Foolish @PrinceFlamingo@computerfairi.es

---

Emotional whiplash so strong i wanna puke
God damn

**Zandorp the Foolish** · Dec 31, 2018, 06:01

Zandorp the Foolish boosted

**Lumb** @Lumb@lamp.institute · Dec 31, 2018, 06:01

Dec 31, 2018, 06:01

Lumb @Lumb@lamp.institute

Pretending to be a god in claire's to get free piercings.

**Zandorp the Foolish** @PrinceFlamingo@computerfairi.es · Dec 31, 2018, 06:00

**Zandorp the Foolish** @PrinceFlamingo@computerfairi.es · Dec 31, 2018, 06:00

Dec 31, 2018, 06:00

Zandorp the Foolish @PrinceFlamingo@computerfairi.es

Mental health bs

When ur brain is like EVERYTHING IS AMAZING!!! and ur like AHAHAHA YEAH!!! and then it's like BUT YOU'RE STILL A SACK OF SHIT YOU MISERABLE FLESH PRISON YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN ABORTED NO ONE WILL EVER FIND VALUE IN YOUR WORTHLESS EXISTENCE and you're like I'M GETTING SOME MIXED SIGNALS HERE??? and your brain is just like AHAHA SO FUNNY FUN HA

Show older

I'm as queer as they come, and a mess to boot. I post art and complain, that's kinda my thing.

Joined Dec 2018

Zandorp the Foolish @PrinceFlamingo@computerfairi.es

Resources

Developers

What is Mastodon?

computerfairi.es

More…