Terxbor (also Formedras) | The Eternal Pariah @Terxbor@computerfairi.es
On rare occasion, a cat that looks like my emblem (avatar image) when curled up in a a ball.
Sometimes a Nobody.
Usually a bisexual human male, half-Filipino, half-white, with manic depression and a severe need for affection and validation. (Some of which I get here, yay!)
Lives in California (UTC-8 in winter, UTC-7 in summer)
I think I'm poly? Yeah, I'm poly.
Maybe gender fluid? Still figuring things out.
Joined Feb 2018
Depression, trauma, goodbye. (NOT sui)
At first, this place was nice.
But now I feel like I don't belong. Rejected, dumped, whatever. Like I was supposed to be some specific thing that I couldn't be.
This place has become one big trauma for me.
I've selected a few accounts to follow on @Formedras, but other than that...
You hurt me, and I'm leaving. Goodbye.
Depression, feeling unwelcome
The last few days here have been the worst throughout social media for me.
Last week, it was feeling so good, but everything has crashed down on me and I feel like I no longer have a place here.
I keep saying it's my fault, and it probably is, but I also feel like, to truly belong here, I have to be trans, and I'm not. Not really.
I'll probably close this account soon. I don't belong and it'll hurt way too much seeing everything that I'm unwelcome participating in.
mh, panic mode, profanity, DEPRESSION
I woke up early... And what I woke up to...
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!
I knew, I just fucking KNEW everything was going to fall apart on me. Everything always does. Sometimes it's my fault, sometimes not.
But ALWAYS any time I start to feel like things are going well, they all go to shit. Why do I even bother trying to make things better for me?
mh, panic mode
If anyone is willing to provide statements of support, I'll read them once I wake up in the afternoon (so about 22:00 UTC) if I'm out of panic mode.
mh, panic mode
I'm really really deep into panic mode right now because I caused people to feel really uncomfortable...
I'm just going to stay off of this instance for the rest of the night because otherwise I'm likely to make things and my own feelings worse and end up going sui thoughts...
This should go on my Ten Forward account...
Wow... there's more than just Ubuntu now for Windows Subsystem for Linux (native Linux on Windows).
There's SUSE Enterprise Server and openSUSE. And openSUSE supports graphical environments! (I'm guessing Wayland, not X Server.)
Dysphoria
Is there any way I can get voice therapy through self help without paying for it
I literally can not be employed and I get paid $25 every 4 months and that's fucking it, from a single generous person (bless them)
I can't fucking take this anymore
Random thought, Phineas and Ferb, lyrics
S.I.M.P. Squirrels in my pants!
Squirrel! Squirrel!
...
Dang, that girl had an actual squirrel in her pants!
We just got served.
@typhlosion
Nyan. I have sent Discord friend request nya~
Blarg
I didn't mention it earlier, but I ended up sleeping all day earlier. I meant to actually get some stuff done...
Need to go request a new Medi-Cal benefits card, reapply for SSI/SSDI... go to the gym... try to flirt with this one guy that works at McDonald's...
affection
@catgirl
*randomly decides to pet and does so*
Personal forms for RP
5.Footnote) Amanda has B-cup breasts and a flat ass. Is more fit than Robert, but less than Formedras. Does not have defined muscles, but also has a flat-ish belly.
Personal forms for RP
5.) Amanda - Human female. As if the real person were born a girl. Approx. 5'4" (Robert is about 5'7", 5'8" maybe), 140 pounds. Less into video games, more into varied technologies and inventing.
NOT capable of using abilities from her male forms. Can use any non-combat ability from Maxadan (form 6, Red Mage catgirl) once she is developed.
Hi everyone.
Here is a PDF copy of "Toxic Parents" by Susan Forward and Craig Buck. It was referred to me by my therapist and deals with ways to reclaim your life when you have toxic parents (even as an adult).
https://www.dropbox.com/s/kg65aktmtx07616/TOXIC-PARENTS.pdf?dl=0
My goal in life is to be as happy as Herman Li looks when he plays guitar
All that is going through my mind at the moment: "Yay, two more pretty girls! Narf!"
@SilviaFox @Terxbor
poor confused computers, they're doing their best
Related to this, unpaid labor in academia is a HUGE issue.
I want to pay this kid because I am benefiting from his work, but without a grant, it would be out of pocket (I applied for a grant so that I can pay him and others like him).
The people who can afford to work for free are people who are privileged enough to not have to work several dozen hours each week for money to support themselves.
Stop reinforcing this privilege.
On rare occasion, a cat that looks like my emblem (avatar image) when curled up in a a ball.
Sometimes a Nobody.
Usually a bisexual human male, half-Filipino, half-white, with manic depression and a severe need for affection and validation. (Some of which I get here, yay!)
Lives in California (UTC-8 in winter, UTC-7 in summer)
I think I'm poly? Yeah, I'm poly.
Maybe gender fluid? Still figuring things out.
Joined Feb 2018
