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hrt, coming out, request for advice 

For anyone who is out and/or on HRT: would you recommend starting HRT before or after coming out (to family specifically)? I thought I'd just rip the bandaid off and tell my family before I officially start hormones but I find myself wondering if that's really the best idea...

hrt, coming out, request for advice 

The main problem is that if I come out to people who won't necessarily immediately support me, I want to be absolutely certain I want to move forward with this. I'm starting to think having a couple months of HRT might be necessary for me to be confident that I am dead set on this.

hrt, coming out, request for advice 

To say nothing of the fact that if it does end up feeling right I'll likely be more confident to begin with.

idk i just don't want to cause needless stress or drama, for myself or others

hrt, coming out, request for advice 

@Chel @Scarly @Breakfast @porsupah

thanks for all your insight <3 i will probably take hormones for a month or two - hopefully well before any outward physical changes - so that I can tell a little white lie that I'm just about to start HRT when I finally break it down for everyone (':

hrt, coming out, request for advice 

As an addendum, I also talked a bit with my sister and decided it would be better to start hormones and ensure that I 100% will be doing this. It'd probably not go super smooth if I said my piece and then realized that this is actually not for me.

hrt, coming out, request for advice 

@Zelli tbh, either/or works pretty fine. i came out pre hormones but some folks don't. tbh, it depends on your comfort level...

if you're concerned that it may not be a good call to come out atm, then it's fine to start hormones first. unless someone is hyper hyper observant, the casual observer won't pick up on the gradual changes so you can kinda pace things out without potential drama.

hrt, coming out, request for advice 

@Scarly @Zelli basically what scarly said, tbh :blobthinking:

in my case I came out after I'd been on hormones a while... but at the end of the day, whatever you're most comfortable with is best

hrt, coming out, request for advice 

@Zelli My parents don’t know and if fortune has it they never will, or at least won’t find out until I’ve moved out for good, but for me I decided I couldn’t wait anymore, and as far as they’re concerned I’m just a twink (who is bi and consequently bot even that subversive), and therefore no cause for concern. If you ask me, do what you need to, it’s easier to get forgiveness than permission worst case scenario

hrt, coming out, request for advice 

@Zelli It's entirely up to you. ^_^ I mostly came out before, partially just to prepare everyone, partially thanks to the *delightful* gatekeeping surrounding HRT (which varies hugely by country). I'd basically recommend earlier rather than later - it's somewhat simpler to discuss something you're hoping for, than have already begun.

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