Aura V. @auravulpes@computerfairi.es

@vyr "the threat of learning real life magical powers"
You know, it's like they say: "Don't threaten me with a good time." Learning magical powers sounds awesome, not like a threat!

So, it turns out that the Nokia 3310 I bought was actually a cheap knockoff. Honestly, I'm not sure if I should be pissed that I was ripped off or impressed at how decent of a knockoff it is. Honestly, if the software wasn't filled with tells that it's a fake, I probably wouldn't have noticed. I would have just though the 3310 was a kinda cheaply made phone. Appearance-wise, it's actually a really good clone, cheap-feeling materials aside.

@dirt@lgbtq.cool oof can't relate

@levels_check nice

I'm fucking done with life. I don't wanna kill myself (mostly from being too tired/scared to), but that doesn't mean I wanna keep living. I have officially been drained beyond what was ever meant to be taken, and I'm done with life as a result. I don't wanna keep living. I don't want to keep living. I don't want to keep living. I don't fucking want to keep living.

@autistikai Me? An optimist?! Surely you jest!

Other books in the series include "I have no anal sphincter and I must shit" and "I have no vas deferens and I must ejaculate"

The hit sequel to "I have no mouth and I must scream": "I have no urethra and I must piss"

@mavica hallo!