Aura V. @auravulpes@computerfairi.es

So, yeah. This started with mh (-), but I guess it's now more mh (~). Because, hey. It's okay to be wrong about yourself. Even if I'm not actually trans, that's okay. We may've found out the hard way, but we learned. Even if I'm not *that* masochistic, it's okay, even if we *did* find that out the hard way. The bruises will hurt for a while, but now I know what *not* to try again.

I mean, it's like my whole "I want to be beaten up by a sexy foxgirl" thing. Yeah, sure, I say that, and the thought gets me off, but I may finally get the chance only to realize that any masochism I may experience really doesn't outweight the pain of having someone else beat you up. But, hey. There's only one way to find out, right? (No, not punching myself. I can handle that.) Sometimes, you just gotta learn things the hard way.

And, to be clear, I'm not worried I'm a brainwashed cis guy. Trying to dress female does actually feel nice. Being referred to as "Kat" feels nice. The idea of being seen as girl feels nice. But who's to say I'm not just an incredibly femme enby? That hormones won't make me feel better but just as bad or, in particular, worse? It just, I worry about it sometimes. But, hey, sometimes you gotta learn things the hard way.

Sometimes, I worry I'm not really who I say I am, and as I try to be the person I say I am, I'm slowly going to find out just how wrong I am. Like, who's to say that as the estradiol does its thing, I'm not going to suddenly realize I was wrong about wanting to be a girl? (Similar strong worries go for if I get far enough for vaginoplasty. Who's to say I'll like the new arrangement better?) Ya know?

Wait, I found worse. Against the hard AI: 5...Qxd3??. It moved it's queen to capture a pawn *that was protected by both a bishop and another pawn*. What the utter fuck was that move?? It literally traded it's queen for a fucking pawn. WHY??

Anyways, hope you enjoyed that little bit of absolute chess what-the-fuckery. I certainly found it amusing.

Those $ bits are Numeric Annotations. $4 is your basic ??, the "what the fuck that's a horrible move."" $9 corresponds to "Worst Move." That is literally, of the 2 moves the CPU had, the worst move it could have done. It might as well just have resigned. The game literally just ended with 21. Qe8#. There was *nothing* that the CPU could have done from 20...Ka8.

So, we have 3...Qxd2+??, the computer literally just charging it's queen forward. That was *immediately* followed by 4. Bxd2. Later, we got the similar 11...Rd1+?? which was followed by a simple 12. Kxd1. But the worst one was 20. Qxe5+ Ka8??, when there were pawns on a7 and b7. WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?! I literally have it notated in PGN "Ka8$4$9"
...

So, I've been playing around with various scoresheet/notating systems for various sports/games lately (things like Portable Game Notation for chess or Project Scoresheet for baseball), and I've been actually using them to learn them. So, like, I used Project Scoresheet to score RTGame playing Wii Sports Baseball and I've started putting his chess matches in clubhouse games into PGN, and I just wanna share a little of how bad that game's "normal" AI is.

#hymenplay

Though, in seriousness, this is probably one of those times when the "typically" kicks in. Given that he's president, Trump condition wouldn't *necessarily* need to be critical for helicopter to be the preferred mode of transport. It could be protocol to transport a president by air. Or Trump might've just wanted to ride in the helicopter. That said, this isn't to say that his condition *isn't* critical either. Until we get more details, we really don't know.

This is *totally* apropos of nothing. It has *nothing* to do with the fact that the president has been transported by air to a hospital after testing positive for COVID. It's just a random fun fact for you. 😇

Emergency medicine fun fact of the day: We typically only use helicopters for transport if things are *really* bad. We're talking "we can't get the to the hospital fast enough by ambulance and they need to be at the hospital ASAP or they'll die" bad. You know, like a car crash victim in need of a level I trauma center 30 miles away. It usually has to be really bad for a helicopter to get used.

I really really really wanna zigazig WAH