Aura V. @auravulpes@computerfairi.es

I'm currently trying to move my Windows install onto my SSD, which should hopefully make hard faults less painful, because I'm pretty sure those are why my computer keeps freezing up. There seems to be a strong correlation between freezes, hard faults, and hard drive access, so it's probably choking trying to read from the 5400 RPM part of my SSHD. *Hopefully*, the SSD fixes that, and I can figure out if there are any other things bottlenecking Windows.

Did you know cloning a hard drive then writing that image to a different hard drive takes a long time?

I didn't.

I have been doing this since, like 14:00. I have been here waiting for 6 hours now. It's gonna be another hour *at least*.

UGH.

My ADHD cannot handle this.

But it will all be worth it.
...
Hopefully.

Don't get me wrong. You can find similar microscopes going for a lot more. But this one is in *horrible* condition. It's gonna need a lot of restoration work if it wants to be worth $20, much less more.

For Christmas, my grandparents gave me an old microscope and lab set from, like, the 50's. My grandfather directly remarked that it was "worth more than when it was bought."

Yep. I'm sure it is. Now let me just take inflation into account...

This isn't to say there aren't things that shouldn't be CW'd, regardless of how you feel about it. You may not feel stupid deserves a CW, and that's fine. But regardless of how you feel about a slur like "tranny", it needs a CW. Same with all manner of things. NSFW stuff, for instance. Or politics (generally). Violence. Stuff that might generally be upsetting, you know?

It's one thing to bitch about someone asking you to CW the word "stupid" as ableism. It's another to bitch about someone else just doing that thing without asking anyone else to do the same. Everyone has their own standards on what they feel is CW-worthy. If you think it's...stupid...to CW something like that, that doesn't matter. They felt it warranted it and that's all that matters.

Happy boxing day~

While incubi are normally seen as tops, we do occasionally like to bottom. I happen to have a large masochistic streak, along with being a brat and loving being humiliated. Getting stripped naked and strapped to a punching bag for anyone to use? Heh, I could get used to this. Go on. Hit me. I can take it. And if you decide you wanna have fun with me in a...different way, I can take that too. We'll see who goes out first. How confident are you it won't be you? Because I'm sure it won't be me.

Incidentally:
1) I'm not gonna drink that. Whiskey's disgusting on its own.
2) eesh. I need to shave.

To growth! Cheers, y'all!

(img cw: alc)

That's my brand new punching bag. That bag is dedicated to two months without self harm and a hopeful future of never doing that again. Sure, I'll be using it, but it's also a symbol, a way of saying "I'm retiring the old punching bag (myself), and getting a new one (a proper punching bag)." A way of saying "I deserve better than using myself as a punching bag." A way of saying "Things gets better." And a tombstone for the old me. Here's to growth, both past and future, y'all.

Happy boxing day, everyone!

Anyways, enough spamming your timeline with my depressing AF Christmas.

Incidentally, this incident has striking parallels to my mental breakdown senior year. I wronged someone in a kinda minor way (what's between minor and major?), someone else stepped in to "punish me" and ended up working me up beyond the point of no return (majorly wronging me in the process), then another person had to step in to calm me down and ended up plunging me back down to zero. It just happened to be mom, my aunt, and my cousin rather than a teacher, the principal, and mom

I kinda also need to figure out why I have such problems with emotional regulation and reading a room. Both of those led to the events of today, and both need to be dealt with.

And, finally, I need to start becoming self-sufficient so that I have meaningful ways to enforce boundaries beyond just violence or repeatedly asking for change. Where I can actually leave or can say "I'm not talking to you until you apologize and change."

As for the aunt, I also need to make clear why I feel wronged by her and make clear that I will not be attending any family gatherings with her present until I get an apology and a commitment to change.

At some point, I need to talk to mom. Everything between me leaving the house and us leaving doesn't involve her, but we definitely need to talk about what happened before I left and after we left. And I owe her an apology. I also need to try to set a boundary *in words* rather than resorting to violence and hoping she gets the message.