orthogonal to alive @avi@computerfairi.es

most of the time, the most productive way to deal with a 'rude' interaction is to assume the other person was doing what they thought was appropriate and move on.

when we, as white people, feel like a person of color is addressing racism 'rudely'? we need to deal with that perception on our own. anti-racism *is* disruptive, because racism — which benefits white people! — *is* the norm. to disrupt the normal state of affairs is good when the normal state is bad. a conflict discussed out in the open is a strict improvement on a conflict we, as white people empowered by racism, can ignore; and just because white people can ignore a situation doesn't make that situation 'peaceful' or 'civil'.

just handle the emotion you're having, and take the criticism. don't let your kneejerk feeling of 'that's rude!' stop you from *listening,* because that kneejerk rejection is there in order to keep you from listening, to keep you invested in the racist norms.

politeness norms differ from place to place. one example I see discussed a lot is that in New York City, the polite way to interact with strangers is to take up as little of their time as possible. if you come from a politeness culture that sees chit-chat as a way of affirming a stranger's humanity, that can make your visit to New York City rather upsetting; everyone seems so 'rude,' which is to say, short-spoken and directly to the point.

most 'rudeness' is like that encoutnter between a New Yorker and a tourist: two people, being polite as they understand politeness, but because their politeness norms mismatch they both walk away thinking "how rude."

most politeness norms are okay, by themselves. there is nothing wrong with most politeness norms; there's just some context where following that norm will make you seem rude.

however, the white people 'politeness' norm where people of color aren't allowed to make us uncomfortable in any way? sucks. we need to be made uncomfortable.

i would rather die in real life than hear another doo wop christmas song

me: ah a cute ghost pokemon let's check out the pokedex entry
pokedex: its cute look comes from the face of a child who was killed in their sleep by this pokemon. if it senses a moment of innocence and calm in someone, it will pursue them in their nightmares until they die of a heart attack. according to folk legend, if you hear this pokemon's cry past midnight, you will die in seven days.
me: ah

@wintgenstein after seeing this, i agree with Richard Dawkins that there is no god

Hey, yo, people! If someone tells you to use a given set of pronouns for them, USE THE GOD DAMNED PRONOUNS. I don't care what your opinions on the pronouns or the person who wants them are, use the fucking pronouns they want you to use.

@avi meow

Anyway, support sex workers

In the criminal justice system, there are two separate yet equally important groups: the goats that complicate probability, and the trolleys that execute the offenders

I don't think there are fewer young cis butch women because they're all transitioning. I think there might have been a demographic moment where a bunch of trans men came out in lesbian communities at once... in the nineties, when many young lesbians of voting age were not yet born. I would note that eras of visible transition also *produce* butches in the form of trans wlw. I do think it's possible that young cis gay+ women are increasingly avoiding gender nonconformity in response to a society whose hostility to both trans people and gender nonconformity has become more overt and politically-salient, itself in response to trans visibility, and identifying trans people as the ultimate cause of that shift is a) a failure to respond to our common oppressors b) a TERF talking point

nobody was talking about this here, I'm just remembering Tumblr, and also bemoaning the fact that I appear to be substantially less gay for girls in a gender climate where butch women are less common

also, I feel like TERFs talking about butch flight is telling on themselves for not knowing any lesbians of color. just saying, studs are still killing it in my hometown's nightlife

IM a homestuck troll and I love my boyfriend I wanted to grow up and palm slams chronicles of Riddick?