jk I'm all about that bread @danishcookies@computerfairi.es

What I guess I ultimately want to say is: it doesn't have to be this way. For most of the last 300k years, it has not been this way.

We don't have to believe that helping others comes at the expense of helping ourselves. We don't have to be solely responsible for caring for ourselves. Capitalism is a story of isolation. Mutual aid is a story of connection.

So in my original toot, I'm not saying that if we all self-sacrifice indiscriminately, then the world will become a better place. The way the world is, and the way human brains and bodies work, we need to withdraw, and that's okay. Given the circumstances, that is what's most healthy individually. And yes, you must take care of yourself!

The opposite is true under capitalism. 1) You frequently need to put yourself first to stay healthy and safe, to not burn out. 2) When you withdraw from systems of aid (especially on local scales), they tend to suffer because *many* people must frequently withdraw for similar reasons.

This is a feedback loop, and it is so by design.

Like I said, capitalism and mutual aid are antithetical. So with mutual aid, two things are true: 1) You *need* to put yourself before all others much less frequently because your community is already prioritizing you (and the rest of the community) directly. 2) You can withdraw from this system when you need to because those around you are supporting it. When you need to put yourself first, you can, without causing harm.

One of the reasons we experience burnout so severely and so frequently under capitalism is because it's impossible for aid to be pervasive. Aid without herd mutuality is not sustainable.

Essentially: Aid is draining and degenerative. Mutual aid is empowering and generative.

But in a robust system of mutual aid, putting others first *is* putting yourself first in so many ways. In such a system, the investment of emotional/social labor is the inverse: you get out as much as you put in or more. And in a robust system of mutual aid, if you need to withdraw, you generally have the support to do so, because aid is pervasive and communal.

2) In the long term, you work yourself so raw that you can no longer help other people. You can't provide aid, basically rendering you "tamed," unable to effectively fight against the system. And you become evidence that the philosophy is true, you have to put yourself first.

This, in addition to the barrage of other stresses we face constantly, makes it damn near impossible to establish (let alone maintain) a robust system of mutual aid.