jk I'm all about that bread @danishcookies@computerfairi.es

hey folks, bethesda game developer Todd Howard here to explain why my games are set in a fantasy world but i felt the need to include 40 million types of racism in your escape from reality

you know what REALLY gets to me about these new folks from tumblr???

many of them will have more followers than me within the next week, which is frankly just disrespectful

its my mission to kill dirk strider

@dankwraith @jzs42069
Hey can someone else do this I just remembered I hate kids

her pussy smells like taquito meat brother -hh

can't believe twitter went out of their way to erase the rich, symbolic history of astrological colors. Like and Retoot if you believe twitter should restore colors to their astrological signs.

Crud McRustMeat

i wanna hold a hand

a recent scientific study has proven that I am, in fact, a completely irredeemable and chaotic bastard

@probablynotbees seal: "Doesn't this weather just makes you wanna shove eels up my nose?"
scientist: "Please don't"

Live yoar dreams!!!!!!!!

hey y'all if you need a laugh read this article on how scientists are "gently pleading" for seals to "make better choices" bc they keep getting eels stuck up their noses
https://www.washingtonpost.com/nation/2018/12/07/make-better-choices-endangered-hawaiian-monk-seals-keep-getting-eels-stuck-up-their-noses-scientists-want-them-stop/

person in car: toot
me: hello fellow mastodon user

@dankwraith @jzs42069
Man now I'm thinking about how tight it would be to start an organization that basically served as a prosthetic for this culture that's been lost. Kinda like the boy scouts but with nontoxic masculinity and community building instead of manifest-destiny patriotism and Christian Values™

I can toot ANYTHING

This week's theme is: Homestuck quotes I can use to debilitatingly burn the Mastodon community.

i literally love mastodon you guys are so neat