jk I'm all about that bread @danishcookies@computerfairi.es

[me after being up for five minutes]
what a day this has been

one day i'm gonna get so bored that i'll create an account called "naibsennyl" with an upside down version of my profile picture and post about being straight and using windows

@danishcookies @lynnesbian
Having breakfast at 150+ MPH is *always* a feature

Annual report says Israeli soldiers killed 312 Palestinians in 2018 and 310 of those with live ammunition; four times more killed than in 2017.
http://imemc.org/article/report-israeli-soldiers-killed-312-palestinians-in-2018/

today we’re all a year older GIMME BOOSTS

*epicly owns another mastodon user* haha u my friend just got TOOTED

those two anti-google posts i made are really popular
anyone who follows me for that is gonna be really disappointed

Joseph joestar is presented as a man who vehemently hates racism and stands up for black people but also he's literally a nazi collaborator so what gives

Cops cry for lost donuts...

RT @lexkypolice@twitter.com [official account for Lexington, Kentucky police, 31 December 2018]:
No words. 😭

my brother listens to, like, white people reggae. every song he listens to sounds like “gettin rid of Britta” from community

@lynnesbian

Are you telling me it's possible my google toilet, toothbrush, car and replacement soul could be collecting data on me???

@lynnesbian

you might not have known this, but google - the company you use for searching, email, maps, translation, data storage, watching videos, voice assistant tech, backing up your phone, storing photos, finding images, making purchases, making your phone's operating system, advertising, providing webfonts, running website analytics, providing captcha authentication, and browsing the internet - might be tracking you

this might come as a shock, but google, a company whose primary revenue source is advertising, might be collecting your data

@ceralor I'm none of them because Negresco tastes way better

@ceralor sorry i don't trust like that

tag urself I'm oreoreoreo

Jesus's foreskin, known as the Holy Prepuce, was one of the many relics which circulated around Europe in the Middle Ages.

As David Farley writes, "Depending on what you read, there were eight, twelve, fourteen, or even 18 different holy foreskins in various European towns during the Middle Ages."