jk I'm all about that bread @danishcookies@computerfairi.es

@dreamsofcheese ready player one.. more like ready player two. luigis revenge.

@nuttgodd
congratulations on becoming part of mastodons increasingly impenetrable lore

I can explain why goatse or groverhaus is funny but im not even going to try to explain this one

my cat is undisturbed by harsh noise music

it's twen-divine-teen. that's right, you're all deities now. smite a bitch

crows are highly intelligent and have cooperative association and they dont need jobs so its clearly objectively better than being a human

Doctor: *walks into exam room*

Doctor: "Did you know anyone can just buy a labcoat, stethoscope, and clipboard?"

@Elizafox
It's a good point now here's a link to the thing for people that want to donate https://www.patreon.com/noelleanthony

@glyzinite why does this read like a hypnosis trigger phrase

There are only 14 possible calendar configurations. You can reuse your 2013 calendar in 2019.

@JohnBrownJr @Los_Ingobernables_De_Jorts *shoots your dog* aww dag

@laser @Los_Ingobernables_De_Jorts you'll never take me alive, copper!

@JohnBrownJr @Los_Ingobernables_De_Jorts *pulls up shirt collar and whispers* gotem

@Los_Ingobernables_De_Jorts @laser that's right he was selling drugs to me

i just made and consumed a pb&j in less than three minutes ama

@Los_Ingobernables_De_Jorts they were all no nutters