Grace is a bad name for me but it's my name anyway @grace_in_name_only@computerfairi.es

my amazing computerizing idea: just put all numbers in a database. there: the ultimate app. and when you need them? look them up in it. couldn't be simpler

please send all the money to my house, y'all know where it is

@vantablack

get preemptive. send them a restraining order

(THANK YOU FOR READING THIS FAR: yes, I didn't explain what the game is about. it's literally titled "Hitman", you know it's not a stocks simulator. it's a shooty-type game as about half of them are now. I'm just saying what I think of it and what it fails at because I wouldn't fucking review it if it was total garbage. #GraceReviewsGames #review)

who shall be the first person to say "cis" to John Cleese in this human society

(no replies pls)

Hatman 3: Yet Another Hat

@vantablack

omg I could make edibles with nutella how did I not notice that before dammit

thank you vanta

actual knowledgeable person: "the term 'surgery' comes from -- "

me, a complete goon: *grabs their microphone* "WHAT YOU'RE FORGETTING IS THE LOST FIGURE OF OUR WORLD, SIR JURY OF THE ROUND TABLE, WHO CREATED BOTH MEDICINE AND LAW IN AUGUST OF 1920"

So, the bad news: It's jarring linguistically. Spy film tropes are a thing I'm quite familiar with but language is so huge there's no way even three dozen voice actors can provide that range; Hitman 2 does far better in Mumbai's atmosphere, IMO, than the Marrakech marketplace.

So get Hitman 2! The Hitman 1 content's baked in, basically, so don't grab the first one. Just 2, and then look forward to Hitman 3! For reasons almost nobody understands at this point. 🙃

9.99/10

There are bad levels (MARRAKECH NEEDS BETTER VOICE PROGRAMMING AND I WILL NOT CEDE THAT POINT, hearing Ohioan accents asking in broken English about whether you will buy their bananas is basically steamrolling your fourth wall) but there are magnificent levels too. And just so, so, SO many deliciously lethal tools at your disposal.

It's what the fifth (or seventh?) game in the original series aspired to, I suppose. And it's smooth as hell. Mechanics are damn good.

The Hitman franchise has a sort of resemblance to that of Max Payne if you put it on silly putty and then stretched out a lot. Yet, 'arrange self, objects, and other people to kill target and walk away like a badass' is still a workable concept to the point that this game has caused a mild IP kerfuffle, and the end result was rebirthing the original studio into existence again, sorta.

Not even kidding.

But this is a magnificent flawed gem, and the beauty was not lost on me.

My wife said I should review games. Guess I will.

Hopefully nothing bad comes of that! 🤣

WARNING: if you get dew in your armpit, it will still dry and get sticky. at least if you're me

@joshua

just "2077" would maximally confuse far future archaeologists

just call it the 2077th entry in the cyberpunk series

(also m'apologies for not using m'apologies)

(my apologies for a child's punning, m'audience)

Irish businesses should always do well, since...

😎

THEIR CAPITAL IS ALWAYS DUBLIN

@KitRedgrave @djsundog

(this is what connects USians to technology; knowing that we 'nuke' our food but also 'nuked' the earth several times)

@KitRedgrave @djsundog

if things matter, you usually notice explosions. or food

Left ¹/³rd Dead