Good Girl Energy
So I had a couple people ask me about things to be prepared for when starting estrogen (and androgen suppressants) so I'm gonna do a short advice thread on that today as I have time
@AzureHusky i reeeeally wanted to give this a good, relaxed read, but so much was resonating. it was hard to concentrate!
i’ve been dissociated from my emotions so much that it seemed i didn’t have any, until they hit some threshold of “too much.” therapy helped, but it seemed like a prosthesis. getting more directed therapy and medication helped, but it still felt like i’m limited. my partner has chronic conditions that are isolating, and NEEDS empathy and understanding.
@heytanuki a lot of us find crying easier (not necessarily easy for all. But easier) and I find it a relief that I can.
@AzureHusky anyway! these are pointing to something more along the lines of, “i’m going to have to deal with the things already inside me” and i’m so very ready for that. i haven’t had any feeling of being able to assert myself, my needs, and i feel like i’ve never had the emotional capacity to do that. it’s... weird? people can say “stand up for yourself!” all they want, and i don’t get how.
thank you so much for the advice too. i’m still partially occupied, but i’ll chime in with more later!
@heytanuki I'm glad it was helpful 💙
@AzureHusky i didn’t even realize how intense that need was. after my self-realization, i decided i wanted to be soft, emapthic, vulnerable as heck. i was tired of the toxic self-protection i was used to.
and oh my gosh, i’ve been with Cran for 16 years now, but it feels like we just now really “get” each other? it’s amazing.
i still feel like i’m fighting some arbitrary limit, like you said. i hadn’t been aware of it til the last couple years and i just... wanted to be able to cry.