tanuki~ @heytanuki@computerfairi.es

@chuxen@queer.party aw, amazing! no, don't let anyone rain on your parade! be excited! stay up til 4 am because you can't stop thinking about stuff! it's a magical time, and hopefully the good outweighs everything else!

also, the best advice i got in my questioning phase: cis people generally don't worry about whether they're trans or not. they also don't hope that they ARE.

thank you! you've made tons and tons of progress as an artist and it's inspiring and gosh your colors make me really happy!

my sister had her baby and of COURSE i got put on a group chat when she went into labor where people were basically betting on gender, making conjecture about sports or whatever, and being so obnoxious, i was beaten down with social dysphoria for over a day. i had to put off an important appointment, and felt alone in not talking about it (so everyone can just be happy about BABBY) (they should be happy about BABBY though!)

anYWAY. i got a couple days off at least!

i'm normally a v shy, hidey person and sometimes i just don't feel safe interacting in general outside a real small circle

but today masto has singlehandedly made me feel like a big cute poof and i'm slightly emboldened! it's a relief!

anyway, good feels for once. it's been a rough week. 💖🍑✨

@chuxen@queer.party (ah that should be "to do OR to perform")

@chuxen@queer.party oh wow, this is a new thing for you! i had The Realization (i'm enby) about 10 months ago and it is still a bit weird, though i've come to a greater self-acceptance than i have ever known.

i hope you know there's nothing you have to do to perform, and that you're valid no matter what path this takes you down. all you need is what you feel. the "standards" and narratives of gender have put people off and hampered their existences too often!

also i've always adored your art <3

@AlphaShadow92 definitely??? look how Good they are

@daylight softness levels are critical!!! the powerful aura of this photo is causing a state of h y p e r r e l a x

@tahajin wait I do all of these

wait

am I the

travatar

so I have a big file of transition plans and the centerpiece of it is my fursona as a diagram of physical dysphoria zones and how I could solve them (short/long term where applicable). many of them are secretive because welp, it turns out some are deeply hard to talk about.

it is the Tanuki Codex and if any band of adventurers were to gather the necessary items/procedures, it could cause my apotheosis.

I guess what I'm saying is basically I'm a jrpg macguffin

the notification for this masto instance playing media in Android is a very good late 90s Computer Aesthetic

@AzureFemme@queer.party awaaaa! thank you and i'm seriously glad folks are liking my weird self-representation <3

@Saxxon i'm glad! hahaha getting to draw out "wrong" opinions of stuff is like. liberating as heck.

@Thaminga awwwg thank you! your outness and beauty and everything definitely contributed to me feeling okay about myself. in fact, you might've been one of the first people i saw using the Mx prefix?

the way the world portrays transness is unfair, and has tainted otherwise supportive people. but i have my partner and this community that allows me to *be*

@Thaminga aw thanks! i just.. it took a nudge from a good friend to make the leap from "i've never really liked my assigned gender" to "oh i can just change that!" and that that was important.

and that furthermore, it gave me more life than anything before??

i still get nervous! i have friends that are just all over the place in support/understanding levels and misunderstanding and invalidation has hurt. i keep existing though <3

thanks for saying hello!

not to mention reconnecting with folks here after cutting away the noise that birdsite has?!

but I guess if I was a problem y'all wouldn't be reconnecting so that's rad. I always think I'm a problem! that's flawed thinking from a life of the wrong signals getting thru

I have irl people coming back into my life after a year, or maybe a year or two, and I haven't been very up-front about transitioning

like, I just layed low for a while, figured myself out. and didn't fill in details except to other cool folks

and I guess they gotta deal with my "new" self? which is still in process, still moving, still weird

it makes me uneasy but I think they'll just have to deal with it! I wish I could just flip a switch and make the world understand nonbinary

@daylight heeeeec yeah! I wanna make em chonkier

the ace representation youre thirsty for

ugh rando numbers stop calling me, I know I need to give the clinic a call and I'm already v v nervous about that

@Saxxon swdgsgjfjhd help I'm being complimented with the correct pronouns, my heart is melting 💖💖💖💖💖