thunderstorm crackle dream @hungrychangeling@computerfairi.es

the spell of a piercing; the spell of repiercing

@Anarkat this is a very powerful quest!

walking into a dispensary and just being like: looking for tinctures or other edible medicine that's high cbd to help me not be afraid of everything all the time; and the sweetie at the feminist poc owned dispensary being like "I have just the thing for you!" and it's a lovely tincture that also has so many of my fav plant allies <3

visited a magical vintage store this weekend and slowly and luxuriously tried on lots of beautiful night gowns and had lots of fun trying things on in a store for the first time?

Sometimes having a cigarette with the moon
sometimes glancing at them through the twirl of smoke; sidelong eyes; a spring flirt

saying hi to all the buds and the worms; tending the meadow

the alchemy of biking - i wake up cranky and bike fast and stompy, and somewhere in the 20 minutes to work i start feeling joyful and powerful
who knew moving my body could feel like this?

decided to use my budget software to budget time
the universe makes a deposit for 168 hours every week

wanting a Rolodex

http://intimaci.es/2019/02/19/teaser/

i'm a launching a podcast playing and exploring what intimacy means to each of us, what even is it!

so much snow flying about

when someone doesn't want to make a life with you,

@dragonmagic !!!!!!!!!!!

i mean i keep wanting to ask
so when did you fall out of love with me

i mean sometimes i want to stop and break into; piss on; fuck in ; live on every house behind a fence built on so many demolished houses

slowly creating a set of guidelines and rules for my heart (divergence life)

slowly over the course of my life trying to help my brain not read into things too much, and not be overinvested in anyone disproportionately or overinvested in being liked

and spend time and care on folks who are also spending time and care on me

and just trying to not be in friendships and relationships where it feels wrong to check in about our interest and care in one another; or ones where i feel anxious and insecure and don't feel safe to talk about it

with this particular person it feels like a little sad, but fine
but
a few years ago someone i had been really close with did this on facebook and it felt fairly devastating, they were also fairly subtweety throughout our friendship
but the great thing is the same lesson applies! people get to have their digital boundaries, I can have my grief but i can just return the awkwardness to sender

accidentally found out someone had unfollowed and soft blocked me on insta (b/c insta suggested them to me)
&
just having such a nice 'return this awkwardness to sender' moment, like i don't need to feel awkward about this if they are trying to disnegage or avoid me they can just do that & its their problem lol and if it's some other thing - i have permission to not care
& i can have grief or frustraton but i don't need to feel awkward or anxious! not my problem

tithe 2 the bees