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Boomers Fighting Over The Correct Way That The Funny Story Should Be Told To You

Eventually this may lead to a career change for me, but for now it's just an experiment. Let me know if you're interested, and we can chat about whether I actually know anything that would be useful to you haha.

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Why am I doing this? Basically my day job takes place entirely inside a dumb bubble full of a very narrow type of problem, and a narrow type of engineer. I'm bored of working with them, frankly, and I would like to get back to helping more people with more realistic problems.

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Ok this is weird, but I want to try a little experiment. If you know me, I'd like to offer you 3 hours of free f2f tutoring/reviewing/help on any software project. I don't know everything, but I'm an experienced coder, and I have some (rusty) teaching experience. Inquire within!

ugh boomers who get pissy if you don't answer your phone right when they call without notice... like, "I don't care what else you're doing I want your exclusive time and attention RIGHT NOW". How incredibly rude.

I haven't used a blender in forever, and I'd somehow forgotten that the control panel always includes this preposterous array of euphemisms for the different speeds that all do pretty much the same thing.

#2180 "Spreadsheets" 

My brother once asked me if there was a function to produce a calendar grid from a list of dates in Google Sheets. I replied with a single-cell formula that took in a list of dates and outputted a calendar. It used SEQUENCE(), REGEXMATCH(), and a double-nested ARRAYFORMULA(), and it locked up the browser for 15 seconds every time it ran. I think he learned a lot about asking me things.
xkcd.com/2180/

Not naming names, but I had to unfollow an acquaintance on the birdsite today. I realized that his tweets are 100% Instagram toxicity--- There's nothing personal or sincere, just a stream of heavily processed brag photos contrived to persuade me that his apartment / job / boyfriend / car / bike / city / life etc are (a) perfect and (b) better than mine.

Like, I can handle it because I understand the biases, but really why bother.

this shop also has a greeting card section, which features a faceless ghoul demonstrating the recommended crash position for a Boeing 737-MAX

this toy shop sells, amongst other things, a Ford Fusion Taxi Cab model. Which is like... the saddest car toy I can imagine. "Oh daddy daddy please buy me a common, economical commercial vehicle! That really lights my fire!" -- no child ever

just realized that i spent the whole weekend dodging the question "so how are you". Friends, I love you too much to complain to you about my dumb job... so I promise I'll think of something more interesting to talk about next time. Sorry I'm so bad at this.

Now explaining the usefulness of the word "y'all" to my non-southern co-worker.... As well as how the word "sheriff" has one syllable and is pronounced "shareFFFF"

you'd think that after decades of industry experience i would stop doubting my basic ability to get simple work done and be a minimally useful employee that doesn't fret too much about my job performance.

but no.

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Computer Fairies

Computer Fairies is a Mastodon instance that aims to be as queer, friendly and furry as possible. We welcome all kinds of computer fairies!