Lauren Brian @lbrianwrites@computerfairi.es

Today is a day where I wish I had a patreon so I could do the stupid stuff I think would be good patreon rewards

I"m disappointed in myself that it's taken me this long to read Sarah Monette's Melusine series. Dang if this isn't my dang (weird, depressing) catnip.

I don't know if this is better or worse than the bullying group who told me my stuff wasn't worth reading until it matched the way they wrote.

I have received feedback on my story and it is nigh incomprehensible. I think he seems to be saying he'd like it better if it was in the Literary style he uses, but he could also just fancy himself a academic writing professor. I don't know. He might also be saying he wants it happier (weird, in short story space), and missed the part about it making sense at the end.

Writing group is getting me to write things, but I don't like what I'm writing. I don't really understand writing from prompts. I never seem to get anything decent out of them.

Trying a new writing group, I think I have ended up in Queer-flavored Literary-Horror. Lessee how much like a lead balloon my meddling kids shenanigans go over. 🙃​ Why do I keep doing this to myself?

I signed up for a little writing encouragement group and now I am having all sorts of dark spiraling thoughts about my ex. They have managed to alienate me from almost every single person we both knew in writing, and through those connections, alienate me to a fair number of Names in the genre. Every year I find another acquaintance who will no longer talk to me. Every year I mark off another author I admire to whom I can never introduce myself. Why do I even bother?

Ugh, I'm so tired. I think I'm going to have to drop that class, not because of anything in the syllabus, but because I'm so goddamned sick all the time I can't maintain the energy to do both intense learning and a regular workweek with no breaks. And this sucks so MUCH.

My stupid arthritis doesn't like me sitting ANYWHERE for 3 hours straight, and I have PC speakers. (And also I'm a grown-ass adult who chose to take your class. fuck.)

And it's a shame because part of it is requiring an always-on camera for a 3-hour class. Like, prof is literally expecting the students to teach part of the class -- handouts and activities, the whole bit (this isn't an education class even) -- but doesn't trust the students enough to believe they'll participate without constant supervision

Ah the hard decisions. I'm taking a college class this summer, but it's looking like the prof is requiring some things that are going to trip up my BS meter a bit too much (and I knew what I was getting into - high-level liberal-ass liberal arts - but even allowing for that)

I have started day two of no acid reducers with coconut fudge and Alka Seltzer (not in that order). I'm so doomed.

And here begins 2 weeks of no acid reducer pills. I started it with fudge and Alka-Seltzer. I'm so screwed.