one time in high school i signed up to do a presentation on mathematics in architecture literally on the bus trip to the venue and i wound up winning like third place

the next year i planned a different presentation on mathematics in motor sports like months in advance and wound up doing much worse though

i'm not sure what this says about me

generally i think maybe people are not so good at distinguishing between folks who confidently know their shit because they prepared well for it and people who are just unironically giving their all because they give zero fucks about the consequences and so if you can't be the former then shoot for the latter imo

i did so much better in college once i was a senior and stopped giving a shit y'all

“oh you want a paper on the intersections between care and work? here's my ten-page dissertation on how the educational system is a fuck and you're all a part of it give me an A”