Esme Povirk @madewokherd@computerfairi.es
Joined Aug 2018
no spoons; didn't read
@hollie Dunno. Too long ago to figure out, I think.
vore, noncon, torture, "you", Rationalist //
@lioness But if you're not motivated by future outcomes none of that matters.
@hollie We did a daily art challenge (5 minute doodles, on a timer) for a while and it was hard. I think it helped that the goal was just "put down at least one mark and work on it for exactly 5 minutes", but we still gave up after a while because we stopped doing anything new.
Anyway, hope you have more success and above all fun making stuff. Don't be too hard on yourself.
re: dream, hypno //
@lioness I feel like the move there is to choose the "power down" option but try to stay lucid while you do it.
Esme Povirk
boosted
Albuquerque, NM, has become the largest U.S. city to permanently make public transportation free for everyone. The city found that fares didn’t cover the administrative fees, so they actually save money by making public transportation free.
vore, noncon, torture, "you", Rationalist //
@lioness This motivation assumes that you actively want others after you to not be eaten, rather than being indifferent or wishing the same fate on others.
becoming a system stuff, kink mention //
@lioness Not sure it's the best idea to involve new headmates in kink anyway.
@varve@weirder.earth @b0rk I mean using a static site generator (hand-coding wouldn't be "generation").
@b0rk Static website generation, or at least I don't know what I can point people to as an introduction to it. Tutorials I've found don't really explain what they're doing and why.
re2: age & relationship nonsense //
@lioness I doubt another person would've helped with that. -Menderbot (previous post was also me)
re2: age & relationship nonsense //
@lioness We didn't figure any shit out until nearly our 30s.
@b0rk Merge upstreams only. Test merges immediately and push them before doing further work. If the merge can't be pushed due to non-ff, redo the merge. I don't want to work with anything more complicated than 2 parallel histories with merges syncing them.
lioness loves attention, social/parasocial line blurring? //
@lioness snugs -Cedar
Esme Povirk
boosted
apparently the thing about YouTube "intentionally" slowing down browsers with adblockers was just a bug in two specific adblockers that affected multiple sites, per the ublock origin dev
Forgetting to add new source files before committing/pushing and then temporarily not having access to the machine where I wrote them. (I'm trying to get better with setting up gitignores so this is more obvious when committing.)
Interrupting git during a submodule update --init which can leave repos with a branch checked out but all files missing.
git add external/repo/
when I mean
git add external/repo
The first one adds all the files in the repo, the second makes a submodule.
Esme Povirk
boosted
PSA for trans people early in transition, please boost <3
I don't see this talked about like, ever.
So I'll talk about it.
If you realised you're trans but find yourself sometimes not really hating your assigned gender and being like "meh" to it?
1) That doesn't mean you've been cis all along;
2) It doesn't mean you just imagined your dysphoria;
3) You're not "pretending" anything or lying to anyone, least of all yourself.
It just means you're more tired than dysphoric. Your brain can't keep negative feelings at full steam all the time, which is good. It's not supposed to.
Do not measure your transness by how much you CURRENTLY need to transition. Dysphoria comes and goes. So does euphoria, for that matter.
I went through several cycles of "I am trans. Wait... I don't feel strongly about this anymore. Was that real? No, wait, ARGH, I'm trans. Wait..." and so on, before I started transitioning. Fooled me every single time.
I still experience this. I'm experiencing this today. I am currently wondering why this whole transition thing is such a big deal to me.
But guess what. I know I'm trans, I've been through this before. Doubts that something is true are not the same as knowing it is not.
You will have doubts whether you're trans years after you transition to your general satisfaction. You will. It just happens. You will still be almost certainly happy that you transitioned. That's what being trans means.
If you don't MIND your assigned gender at the moment, but still your actual gender sounds neat, you're still trans.
You're allowed to pause things and recalibrate, or focus on something else. Your transition should go at your pace.
But you haven't suddenly become cis. I promise you that you haven't. You still prefer to function as your real gender, don't you?
I've done this enough times that I need to say it. It's OK. It ebbs and flows. As long as you're not actually *satisfied* with your assigned gender, as long as you have ANY overall need to transition, you're not cis. You may be genderfluid or genderflux or bigender or agender or genderqueer or non-binary. Knock yourself out exploring those (I sure did). There's no penalty for concluding with "nah".
You may also very Very, Very Tired.
But none of those things mean "cis". I'm begging you, believe me.
EDIT: one good way to figure this out is - OK, so you don't jump for joy at the thought of transitioning. Now imagine yourself in your actual gender. Imagine it's all done and dealt with. Is your imagined self repulsive, do you want to *avoid* this? Does the idea of HAVING transitioned fill you with discomfort?
If not, then you're not cis. Cis people are *uncomfortable* with the idea of transitioning because they inhabit their AGAB. That's their entire deal.
Need someone at this convention to invite me to their room so I can lay down in silence and get my social energy back.
Joined Aug 2018
