maple "mavica" syrup [6502] @mavica_again@computerfairi.es

(to be read in a radical tone of meaning, i'm not chastising myself to not be ok about not doing anything but rather poking out the incongruence)

if i can't do a task assigned and i can't be ok not doing the task assigned what the hell am i supposed to be ok with

i wish i had anyone in my life who knew how to deal with my anxiety attacks

my entire life i've been berated about not being able to recognize them let alone talk about them and even when i do the monumental task of doing so i don't get even a cookie for it

time to be forced to be alone when i don't want to be as punishment

like, how do you cheat in sandbox my dude. i just want to drive around and jump ramps, you're the one trying to kill me for sport and frustrated i'm not letting you. go to a deathmatch server instead, prickweedle.

to this day i remember when i was in a freeroam (no-goal sandbox mode) server in Multi Theft Auto (a GTA:SA online mod) using s0beit to fly around to get to places in the map quicker and avoid getting killed by griefer players and they kept yelling at me that i was "cheating"

pointless thought: legalizing "cheats" in online games by separating them into their own play category instead of just outright banning, and/or making it abundantly clear who has those modifications enabled. like games that have player handicap settings

also yes there are only ST-01 (and i think ST-02 ?) samples in this song

this is 6 years old but i'm still pretty proud of the drum programming i did on it https://soundcloud.com/svetlana/cat-on-my-lap

instead of "male, female, other" consider "male, female, not listed/supported by our platform"

assume the blame, don't blame the people you are collecting data from