maple "mavica" syrup [6502] @mavica_again@computerfairi.es

i wear my heart on my sleeve because i don't know where else to wear it

i miss doing marathon streams

what if michael cretu composed amiga music modules https://soundcloud.com/svetlana/michael-cretu-core

"have you considered that being gloomy in public all the time is driving people away" sorry what would you like me to say ah yes i love to be on the outside looking in i love to watch people who aren't me have fun doing things i wish i could be allowed to do

thinking about how the track record of how ostracized from big communities i am makes it hard for me to believe anyone who tells me i'm not a bad person or not an abuser (which i've been branded by the people who ostracized me from said communities)

thinking about how i wish i was good enough for people to like me

thinking about how i'm probably nobody's first choice for anything

thinking about how i'm not allowed/invited to participate in any communities other than the ones i started and almost nobody else considers them their first communities so i'm basically out of a home online

thinking about how i'm probably not who comes to people's minds when they talk about "trans twitter" or "furry twitter"

i'll be lucky if i can buy myself just boobs before i'm 40