maple "mavica" syrup [6502] @mavica_again@computerfairi.es

if your excuse is "well you locked replies to this thread because you're not following me", my DMs are wide open for message requests from non-followers if you want to reach out. i'm not much for words right now, but knowing someone gives a damn helps

and if you're going to silently unfollow me for having feelings i'd rather air out rather than bottle up and cause more problems in the long run, instead of actually discussing things with me whether they're positive or negative, you have less courage than i have right now

i'm purposefully using the word mutuals here because my sensory input for parasocial relationships is warped enough that i don't know what a friend is anymore and i don't believe i have any

if you just can't give me attention but give others attention, i guess i'd kinda like something to signal that instead of just having to play the guessing game of "is this person following me on mute"

i'm tired of not being a part of anything cool my mutuals are doing

tired of feeling like i live on the outside of everything. i'm gonna subtweet but i'm tired of mutuals fawning over vtubers who won't ever know them but never show up to my vtuber streams. i want more attention. i'm not "making threats" for attention, i'm just verbalising my mood

i'm tired of being given space. that's not help.

and if it's all the same to you, yes, begrudgingly i do have a therapist thank you very much. it doesn't help the core issue.

mental health is so fucking volatile i cannot possible feel wanted or needed by anything in this earthly confinement & i just want to remove myself from the equation to make things less troublesome for everyone distancing themselves from me every time i say i want to kill myself

i want to kill myself. i won't, because i physically can't, but it's a sentiment i need to type out to vent. i want to kill myself. please don't report this tweet because i already have several fake twitter case numbers that don't actually do anything and i'll just mock that

hm hey don't put vexwerewolf on our timelines please thanks

how fluffy is your tail? also does it do cute stuff when you're flustered, etc? — i think i lost one of my girlfriends in there once https://retrospring.net/maple_syrup/a/106208210269422668

my favourite memory from the giant bomb discord was the time when someone got really mad at me for saying that samus is trans and then the mods banned them

i never understood "just use the paint bucket" because no software or setting on the paint bucket ever made anything look even usable with anything but pixel art