Harp the Wigglytuff @wigglytuffitout@computerfairi.es

but

as per usual for the jedi order

nobody went "hm, d'you think this former slave kid's deep-rooted food insecurity might be a sign of any larger mental struggles he has?"

there were some vague assurances that the jedi always feed their own, with some frustrated light shaming that anakin would even worry (fear leads to the dark side you know!) about something so trivial

but that was it

said lunchlady also at least noticed that anakin wasn't stealing, but rather sifting through garbage, etc. for these extra snacks, and while not persuading him to just ask for more, did at least start making it a lot easier on him to grab the just-barely-out-of-date nutrition bars etc. as they supposedly went out in the trash

of course, obi-wan and others in the jedi order largely dismissed it as "teenage boy going through one fuck of a growth spurt" because, well, when you're growing to "pretty good pick for the basketball team" height, that happens

one of the lunchroom ladies at the jedi temple fussed at obi-wan shaming him for not feeding his padawan enough, and that was about as close to the problem as anyone ever came to addressing it

anakin skywalker as a padawan was remarkably good at keeping secret food stashes

this eventually only came to light because obi-wan was thinking he was just staying up late at night to eat (no he was doing other shit like tinkering with mechanics and happened to be hungry) and/or obi-wan got frustrated at the messy state of his padawan's room and went WHERE THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN KEEPING ALL OF THESE TWINKIES????????

if they REALLY wanted to cater to me, crossover episode where Ruth Goodman comes in from the latest historical farm series to eagerly talk about whatever bits and bobs of domestic history have been unearthed and brought forward for presentation

WHAT'S THAT? A CLOTHES MANGLE? EXCELLENT! TELL ME MORE

pawn stars is just the gateway drug for antiques roadshow tbh

no lie my perfect show would be a combination of the two. no haggling, no selling, no wacky subplots feat. chumlee, but higher production values and the reoccurring rolodex of experts.

"harp, do you just want a show where the Beard of Knowledge talks about random things?"

absolutely yes.

@Sapphicgiraffic@snouts.online ok but also: Antiques Road Show and chill?

i need some sort of tiny spatula so i can scrape out the clots that i KNOW are up ins but have not yet blorped their way out. i know they're there because i can feel them. and they kinda itch

will no-one rid me of this troublesome uterus

ordered in dinner and they got my order wrong but not wrong enough to call and complain and get a new sammich delivered.

:<

@alchemy ALWAYS <3

lort i feel like barely microwaved reheated ass

@anarchiv i getchu now, cheers!

i'm too flinchy from non-mastodon spaces and was like "wait... are they saying all intersectionality is bad" for a hot second there but now i got the meaning of the scare quotes

@anarchiv i may just be a random asshole passing by but it seems more like a shitty person problem than like... what intersectionality actually is

unless that's the point of the scare quotes, which i'm missing because of being a creature made of grumbling and pain medication right now

well my rogue ovary has decided that although it wants to hurt, it will at least settle for only hurting where it is and doing less of the 'pain down my thigh' business, so i got that going for me which is nice

tfw you're all "you know i'd be pretty fine with this being a really bad ovarian torsion actually because then they'd actually have to go in there to fix it so why not just take my uterus while they're there huh"