Harp the Wigglytuff @wigglytuffitout@computerfairi.es

bonus: after-credits scene cuts to Wonder Woman taking a stroll in around the amazon in a city or something

totally spots Harley and Ivy

they sweat nervously as she walks over cheerfully and they are very much in "fuck we're in trouble" mode

instead wonder woman "introduces" herself because "clearly ;) we've never met ;) before ;)", and is very obviously going "y'all are doing good work here. i ain't gonna fuck it up. if batman asks i met some nice researchers. y'all have fun now"

so she lets harley and ivy go in a moment of sister solidarity, a "listen here's your chance to go stop living under the crushing bullshit of men in power dictating how you should be. y'all go save the amazon or some shit"

and then harley and ivy ride off into the sunset in a stolen convertible to go make the world a better place

the end

fucking hire me DC

batwoman is faced between "take them in for minor crimes that are technically illegal but also break their parole" and "let the lesbian newlyweds go to help the world"

and she has a moment of saying she's dedicated to justice right before batman yells at her over the phone to keep ivy and harley there so that HE can make sure to come capture them AS ONLY HE CAN

so she then sits down and goes "oh no i'm totally trapped, boy it would be a pity if y'all just ran out and stole a car eh"

catwoman acts as their mentor and perhaps also occasional relationship counselor, and the moral is along the lines of "doing real good is better than harming yourself out of guilt to punish yourself for the rest of your life"

batwoman ends up on their tail trying to track them down

but the final battle it's revealed that harley and ivy are basically on their way out of gotham to go, say, to the amazon to help turn back the tide of deforestation

of course that's in my "make me director, DC" dream movie where no major male characters show up

at all

minor characters, maybe. maybe voice on the telephone. but faces on that screen lol

as harley quinn and poison ivy, after their marriage, declare they're going to really go straight this time and then end up falling into "crime" once more, mentored by catwoman, in the art of "these things are technically illegal, but morally right, so what's batman gonna do about it huh"

i mean just ponder Poison Ivy, but with her hair up in a practical bun, sensible boots on (absolutely NO high heels or open-toed shoes are ALLOWED because of BASIC LAB SAFETY), who has made her plant costume into a sensible two-piece with pitcher plants at her hips that she can shove her hands into happily because pockets!!!

(batgirl is low-key jealous. it looks so comfortable! nicely loose! and POCKETS!)

concept: Poison Ivy, but written to reflect most of the women in STEM i actually know, not somebody's sexy fantasy

because she isn't a conventionally pretty sexpot, she hides in plain sight to basically everyone - batman included - for a good long while. ('cause that mousy-dressing woman with the glasses is, like, the secretary, right? not important.)

she still makes her own costume out of plants. with pitcher plants.

"nice costume," says batgirl

"thanks, it has pockets!!!" she replies

well today on Adventures In Capitalism, the face cream i picked up awhile back that my skin likes but isn't quite as good as lush imperialis (but honestly i'll probably buy again bc my skin really likes both at once lmao), sinks in quickly, and is packaged in a neat airless pump that makes me feel like a Real Adult who is Doing a Luxury Skincare,

is five bucks on amazon right now

https://www.amazon.com/Moisturizer-Face-Organics-Hyaluronic-Chamomile/dp/B07G797DHV/ref=lp_17712874011_1_2_a_it?srs=17712874011&ie=UTF8&qid=1560872825&sr=8-2

so if folks out there want a treatyoself moment but like, a little one, there y'all go

"Welcome to Gerudo Town's premier accessory shop! How can I help you today?"

"I need, um... a present."

"Oooh, like a birthday present, an anniversary present, or...?"

"I need a 'sorry in my horny haze I thought Stasis could open up some interesting edging possibilities but ended up just punting you nearly through the ceiling' present"

"I... see. Our diamond line is right over here..."

i may be utterly wiped out from pain, dizzy from meds, exhausted and ouchy, but at least i figured out that my joycon doesn't need repairing, only recalibrating, so i got that going for me which is nice

@razaphale oh my gosh ;o;

i'm too low spoons to properly words but it's such an honor to be even vaguely associated with such high quality shit <3 and y'all - seeing how the Iron Lynx became such a vibrant mainstay of rp - were really the ones that inspired ME to begin with!!!

HAVE A KICKASS EVENT, it looks utterly gorgeous and i know y'all are going to fuckin CRUSH IT!!!!!!!! 💖 💖 💖

@SapphicGirafarig@donphan.social I LOVE THEM AND I LOVE YOU ;o;

so my shoulder has decided that the one muscle in the back that i think is either teres major or minor will only let me do the range of motion like you're doing the chicken wing flap about two inches away from my body. otherwise it will scream. hard. loudly! so time to keep my elbow by my side Or Else!

and my shoulder still feels like it's about to pop off of course

so i'm gonna take a muscle relaxer and have it mildly yeet out my soul while playing BotW instead of doing useful things today

me: okay time to take a shower and do things today

my shoulder: areyousureaboutthat_johncena.gif

@InspectorCaracal @monorail oh definitely

it drove me fuckin buckwild to see it passed around as "fun fact" without any sort of source for this or references because all it did was make people panic that they were broken forever

and it's not bad!!! neither is the inverse!!! it's Fucking Normal!!! and making people panic about it was a shitheel move and i want to kick the person perpetuating this square in the crotch basically

@InspectorCaracal @monorail honestly i sometimes think in that kinda way too, but when people say that if you think in a voice/spoken narrative at ALL it's a "fun fact that you're mentally ill" is when i call bullshit and a half lol

like, wtf do they do when they read a book??? bc when i do that, it's like my mental voice is reading aloud. and you got different voices for different characters of course! like it's so common to do this that the fun fact is B U L L S H I T

@InspectorCaracal @monorail very true LOL, i'm guessing that maybe it's a bit of a gradient and the norm isn't like perfectly perfect recall, but that there are areas where things get mushy at the borders

thinking about thinking is weird

at least this has actual science behind it and not that "fun fact" i've seen a few times that "if you hear your thoughts like a voice at all that's a sign of mental illness!" which just makes me absolutely sure that's bullshit bc otherwise HOW DO YOU THINK

@InspectorCaracal @monorail i do have times when it gets more... mushy? like when i'm trying to work out a scene for writing - usually it's listen to a song and then picture shit to it, lol - sometimes the idea starts as more movement, and then i have to refine and refine to focus on what's going on and how it works.

maybe part of my imagination is actually a frog and as such only sees movement?? MYSTERIES OF THE UNIVERSE