Harp the Wigglytuff @wigglytuffitout@computerfairi.es

i bring you, #ffxiv tag, a rough and ready Great Serpent of Ronka emoji a guildmate just did for us

shadowbringers spoilers kinda sorta if you consider minions spoilers?

@legendaryjoeb please also look forward to the level 3 limit break, Ultimate Anti-Vaxxer Apocalypse, wherein your equipped Harps go thermonuclear with fury and bury your opponent under at least 150 pubmed citations. Works especially well on enemies that have already been attacked by a hero wielding the Adobe Creative Suite, and have cast the status of Corrupted Install so that all rolls to open pdfs are critically failed.

@legendaryjoeb congrats on finding the most powerful weapons in the game! remember to charge them up by shouting YOOM TAH!, and you can use several special moves:

1. Bless-Your-Heart Bomb - charms enemies to encircle a Southern Belle bomb, which then explodes, causing high damage. But be careful, bosses can toss it back at you, causing Politeness damage!

2. Wall of Text - erects a sesquipedalian defense that lasts for the next 3 turns; enemies have to pass an INT check to attack.

"harp why are you choosing order in the final #splatoon2 splatfest, though"

1. many things in life are acting in ordered systems, it's just multiple layers of complex ordered systems that ends up perceived as chaotic

2. you could summarize the struggle of life itself as the act of fighting against entropy (e.g. chaos), from plants using sunlight as 'fuel' all the way up to higher levels of culture, history, etc.

3. i like marina more

anyway what are the odds of being called a tankie if i choose order over chaos in the final splatfest. i'm guessing 75%

yesterday i definitely had interesting conversations going before the Spoon Thief Gremlin came and absolutely ground me into the dirt while scattering the Good Cool Thoughts i was having to the four fucking winds

i apologise

i'm also completely sure this will happen again

so in conclusion,

sexy tip: while your partner is fisting you, remember to look at them and tell them "well, i guess you've really got me wrapped around your finger, and more besides, huh???" while wiggling your eyebrows at them for maximum effect

@InspectorCaracal lmao honestly it's probably just that, the motherfuckers

nice design element, not actually meaningful 😂

@InspectorCaracal the triangles definitely don't line up with astral/umbral - astral is just top and umbral bottom in the chart, so there's always one not-quite-right. usually links in such diagrams mean some sort of relation (wind plus hot makes fire) which is why i am so puzzled by it, and ffxiv is intricate enough in details that i'm...

so suspicious they're Up To Something

@InspectorCaracal astral and umbral is actually the kinda point of The Twist - but the expansion pack is called Shadowbringers so, well. you can probably guess

i think the ffxiv point of view of all this shit is actually explicitly laid out in uhhh fuck... one of the lore books. https://www.reddit.com/r/ffxiv/comments/871k3r/lorebook_sunday_basic_aetherology/ is a bit of someone summarizing, i don't have it myself or the pdf lol

@InspectorCaracal oh lord are we now bringing pokemon into this because if so that's kind of amazing

astral/umbral megaevolutions when, gamefreak

@InspectorCaracal tbh i'm starting to become more and more suspicious that the purpose of the black-white designs are

"we thought it was pretty looking. now calm down"

LOL

@InspectorCaracal yep the image is canonical! you get a lecture about it. there's also a bit of a twist to it in the newest xpack but i don't want to spoil people. the twist is a bit irrelevant anyway to almost all roleplay characters honestly, it's a "but in this other world we're now in, things work differently, like this..." type situation.

@InspectorCaracal i can justify the humoral elements a *bit* since humoral system of medicine is explicitly mentioned elsewhere in the world - leechings prescribed for someone acting too exciteable, etc. - and i've been picking the brain of someone who knows eastern systems better than me, and apparently the yin/yang split also... doesn't quite fit those black/white relations either

which is a bit of a comfort 'cos if it was yin/yang staring me in the face so obviously LOL

i should probably note

what the dark and light triangle connections mean is entirely my speculation, we weren't fuckin' told

we then debated this for like an hour in the guild discord trying to see if different theories fit and my dudes, i got fucking nothing. or at least i got nothing with my basic knowledge of western elemental humoral theory. that wet/dry guess is exceedingly A Guess, don't take it as gospel lol

also i finally remembered to find the non-contact thermometer and checked and, indeed, my perception that my bad shoulder is warmer than the other (and that's why constant ice packs are so nice) is correct! it's about 98 on the skin whereas the other shoulder is 95 or so, and you can definitely feel the heat just.. radiating from it.

so i'm gonna propose referring to my surgery as getting my coolant levels checked

it's fifteen layers of fucked up mind you but if you wanna see a white boy jackass turn on a fucking dime into ACTUALLY I TOTALLY CONTROLLED MY ACTIONS AND AM A RACIST AND I DID THAT FULLY OF MY OWN VOLITION that's sure one way to do it is all i'm sayin'

listen, i know it relies on some pretty fucked-up modern shapes of our mental healthcare system, but i am more and more inclined the next person who trots out "well i'm not a racist, it's just not who i am, even though i did [very racist thing]" to turn into a dour-faced concern troll at them: "oh, you're utterly unable to control your own hurtful actions? how awful! well don't worry, i'm sure there's a nice institution where you can live with the round-the-clock care you require..."