Harp the Wigglytuff @wigglytuffitout@computerfairi.es

i am a massive sap but

i really fuckin enjoyed thancred's character arc

and eden raids are enjoyable because there's more of thancred actually being a good stepdad. he's gone from "it's my car, i choose the music" to "honey i got tickets for us to go see the jonas brothers for your birthday" and just accepting he'll be in the back sipping some overpriced beer but smiling because his daughter's having a good time

good news is that i'm feeling ok enough to type in roulettes

bad news is that i'm feeling ok enough to type in roulettes

yes it's important to approach cis men as potential allies and make feminism relevant to them by addressing toxic masculinity, but

please don't blame it all on "their brains just don't work that way!! it's all the testosterone that makes them unable to think about others!!!", unless you're going to say that every trans masc person, cis woman with pcos, etc. is also a selfish bastard by biological fiat

@FirstProgenitor yeah, def keep it in mind for when you have insurance! if you've ever had asthma, too, insurances will leap at the chance to get you allergy shots. (because from their point of view, asthma complications can get *very expensive very quickly* lol.)

for right now though you can always look up strategies to cut down on other common allergens (like mold, pollen, dust mites) and see if maybe that gives you some wiggle room to possibly put a cat in there ^0^

@FirstProgenitor (fwiw though many insurances are happy to pay for allergy shots with a little coaxing. it's cheaper overall for them do pay a mildly high cost for a year than it is to have you be much more at risk for more expensive health problems for the rest of your life.)

if you have access to one, i'd def say go see an allergist. they can do proper testing and help you map out just how allergic you are (and the other shit you're allergic to that might be contributing to it all).

@FirstProgenitor the expensive solution that's sadly only really available if you have good insurance is allergy shots. they take awhile of doing a once-a-week injection, but it means you get your body used to not being allergic to bullshit overall. and since it's all your allergies at once, for the rest of your life, it's a fantastic long-term solution to get things down where even with a cat, your body's total 'things we're being allergic to' doesn't meet the threshold (if that makes sense).

@FirstProgenitor it depends wildly on how bad is bad and what other things you're allergic to (and how hypoallergenic the cat is - there aren't really defined breeds like there are with dogs, it's a bit of a tossup)

allergies often operate at a threshhold model - basically if enough things stack up, you'll be symptomatic. so it could be that you're ok with cats as long as you're taking an anti-allergy med *and* you're also wrangling your other allergies (dust mites, mold, etc). >

i wonder how badly the sleep tracker on this app will go with my dog in the bed with me too LOL

anyway

good night fediverse

given the noises my shoulder is increasingly making, i think there's a nonzero chance that they're gonna actually get in there for a look and as soon as they open it up there will come the cry of

"aeiou aeiou aeiou JOHN MADDEN" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hv6RbEOlqRo

@monorail oh lort maths

thank you, i'll take a look! i had been using AlarmMon because uhhhh it was cute, but at this point i'm more than willing to foist a couple bucks at something to not have to deal with ads bullshittery

oh hey i'm going to shamelessly steal an innocent post idea a sec

what are y'all's favourite alarm clock apps on android, specifically ones that make you do a little minigame to prove you're really awake?

my ol' standby has now inserted ads that completely make it useless so i'm on the lookout for another

@InspectorCaracal god i know right

it's had such a special place in internet aesthetic. it's like... the internet equivalent of black velvet paintings or something. not "classy", but beloved by certain sets. as i get older i've definitely gone from "tacky and awful" to "tacky and it's great actually" LMAO

@funnypanja fair enough.

or are you tone policing me now, telling you i'm not making an entertaining and pleasing song and dance for you? i guess as soon as somebody's behavior even gets slightly difficult to accommodate, all you've got is 'fuck off', eh? ;)

anyway, i'll take my own advice. i've been there, tried this, and ended up stuck in absolute misery. it's why i felt the urge to speak up. but, so it goes, i suppose. have a good evening. o/

@funnypanja if you truly have no spoons, i sympathize. i have also been there.

the fix is always to not throw more energy at the problem. it is to remove yourself from the problem.

you cannot police everyone else's tone. you cannot abuse people and belittle them into doing what you want. the energy you will expend trying to do that is, well, going to be wasted.

i've been here. i've done that. i'm also disabled. i'm also not neurotypical. there is a better path here. your choice.

@funnypanja but at the end of the day, it is not a very good excuse for treating other people like my personal punching bag. it is those times that i know the better thing to do is not use any spoons i don't have, and *step away*.

telling someone to "get a life" after a demand is not acceptable behavior. you don't get to police THEIR tone, either. you don't get to demand that they don't talk about their interests. and you don't get to belittle their interests as you ask for a cw.

@funnypanja asking you to not attack others is not tone policing.

i understand you are frustrated and upset.

however, if you cannot interact with people without lashing out at them because you are frustrated and upset, it is a good time to step away from the situation.

use tools already at your disposal. this can include just logging off for awhile. i know, i've been there, i've done that. sometimes my disability also makes it so i cannot interact well with others.

@funnypanja i know it means using spoons, mental energy, and is vexing. however, this situation came about because you went at someone claws-out as a first action.

your frustration, anger, and exhaustion are valid.

but your frustration, anger, and exhaustion are not a good reason to abuse other people. that is not your permission slip to yell at them, to attack them, and to be abusive towards them.

THAT is why people are upset with you.

@funnypanja there is no shame in using tools already available to you as well: blacklist features, only browsing friends, only browsing local timeline, etc.

i am also disabled. i also have had to ask people to cw things.

it is something that a lot of people are happy to do. but it requires asking them, not abusing them.

you may be frustrated, tired, and at the end of your rope. but for the people you are snapping at, this is the first time they've heard of it.

@funnypanja as someone who has kinda seen this unfold -

you can genuinely find yourself in a place where your accessibility needs conflict with someone else's. that is not an impossible situation, nor does it mean one must be morally right and the other morally wrong. that is just life.

asking for cws is something you can and should feel like you can do.

abusing people is not something you can and should feel like you can do.

@maple peak feminism is being barefoot pregnant in the kitchen, this is definitely some galaxy-brain thinkery i see