Harp the Wigglytuff @wigglytuffitout@computerfairi.es

i was going to write a longer, involved thoughtful post about shipping and social justice and writing fanfic and the intersection of all of these things etc in meditative pondering about how i strive to be thoughtful in certain ways,

and then i realized i can really just summarize a lot down, so:

how do i ship anakin/padme?

well the chapter in my pet fanfic where anakin/vader and padme begin their reconciliation is going to be titled "the wife of bath's tale"

@kirbizard oh my god

reggie took the servers with him

so there's your plot bunny of anakin/vader looking back and Realizing (tm) "oh that's when i stopped being a real person to obi-wan, who was in charge of taking care of me, wasn't it :')"

and if you want to write an essay instead, pls consider how vader's redemption hinges on his son recognizing that a person relying on lifesaving prosthetics is still a person and worthy of love/respect/being humanized as such

someone take obi-wan's anh line of "he's more machine than man", describing vader as ruined/corrupted, and match that the fuck up with prequels

did anakin skywalker not get any of the help he needed in part because as soon as he lost a hand - and got an obvious prosthetic replacement - his mentor quietly shuffled him into the "less-than-human and not truly of any value" box?

p.s. no i haven't ever played a persona game why do you ask :^)

concept:

dlc for the dlc for smash, where it's Joker but rightfully voiced by Mark Hamill

unfortunately i have already written the chapter of this abominable fanfic wherein garrus pats luke on the shoulder and goes "y'know, kiddo, as you grow older, a man gets certain urges..."

"garrus you know i'm like 23 right -"

"don't interrupt kiddo it's rude. anyway, when a man grows up, he realizes that all he really wants is a redhead girlfriend who can beat him up... it's as natural as the birds and the bees..."

well now i'm definitely making an excuse to add a chapter to my shitty fanfic so force ghost obi-wan can try the "vader's more machine than man!" line out on commander delia "my disabled pilot is in a relationship with an AI in a robot body" shepard, just so i can do the equivalent of smash that paragon prompt and have her utterly ream him for the prejudice encapsulated in that statement

shepard: i mean it's just policy bro. you left him unattended for 15 minutes so legally we're allowed to leave class, or find him less sucky parental figures

vader: oh fuck off don't tell me you're doing this too

shepard: what? no

shepard: i'm not his new mom, that's samara

shepard: i'm his new cool aunt

shepard: that takes him to stripper joints and gets him ice cream cake.

anyway i look forward to someday being able to coherently string together a story once more, so i can write upcoming moments in this stupid crossover like

vader: but he's MY son so that means *I* get to fuck up his life!!!!!

samara, busting through like john cena: ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THAT

vader: what the fuck who are you

samara: the lady who adopted your son while you weren't looking

vader: ...the FUCK

"harp" you may be asking "what the fuck kind of business is going on in this crossover where commander shepard has to deal with vader on the normandy and force ghost obi-wan kenobi floating around"

well

it

is the kind of crossover where later on shepard's crowning moment of persuasion is convincing luke to take some recreational shore leave through the use of three asari strippers and an ice cream cake that has a frosting inscription of SORRY YOUR DAD'S DEAD

unfortunately as they talk obi-wan crits a further diplomacy check so shepard does not actually falcon punch him into the sun.

however i do want to write more of her casually regarding him with polite, icy contempt (only compounded because that crit diplo check came at the cost of him *jokingly trying to pull rank*, so now she's pure YEP I KNOW YOU'RE HIGH ENOUGH RANK TO BE FULL OF SHIT, SIR, WE ARE NOT FRIENDS AND NEVER WILL BE.)

so delia shepard, being so paragon it hurts, does not notice the attempted "see all this shit? see it? yeah i should be in command here not YOU. fuckass." it is intended to be

she just looks at battle date, looks at age, verifies age estimate from outside research, and then becomes ONE HUNDRED PERCENT READY TO THROW THE FUCK DOWN.

on behalf of somebody who has been pure jackass to her so far, to boot.

commander delia boudicca kaitlyn daisy shepard, everybody!

on behalf of vader no less, who at this point has been nothing but snarky bordering on openly hostile to her - insulting her command, etc. even as he begrudgingly declared that ok sure allies whatever

the bare knowledge shepard even got was vader trying to do a bit of a RESPECT MY AUTHORITY!!! power play, typing up a dossier of info on himself as requested that was *just* a list of battles he had fought in and his age

anyway now i'm smad i don't have the brain to write more of my bullshit star wars/mass effect crossover

because commander delia shepard is obnoxiously paragon, but in fantastic ways, and one of those ways is "ready to throw fucking down and fight the jedi order for its crimes on absolutely minimal information; still about to see if force ghost obi-wan in a dreamscape can CATCH THESE HANDS"

@applebaps@anarchism.space @Sapphicgiraffic@snouts.online somewhere in the distance of this scene, it's just me yelling at the top of my lungs about how the jedi order steals babies, uses child soldiers, and had it fuckin coming, along with the rest of the republic that had decided to cheapen their morality for convenience