Harp the Wigglytuff @wigglytuffitout@computerfairi.es

the shark boyfriend has spent 100 years trying to doggedly be a good prince who wears a cravat and knows how proper decorum and then he hooks up with mr. link "battle gremlin" hyrule and ms. princess "have just spent 100 years locked in psychic battle with the greatest force of evil, could use a cuppa tea honestly" zelda. it's just a fish man trying to hold on to his dignity while dating two disasters shaped like hylians

right that retoot cinches it, i am going to have to put in some contrived-ass bit of this fic i might eventually write wherein Zelda Learns How To Cuss

link already knows he's become a feral battle goblin it's like 90% f-words by this point. he's just going to yell at the moon to fuck off at any occasion now

nope instead it's prince sidon who is all GAAAAAASP!!!!!!!!!!!! and absolutely SCANDALIZED because PRINCESS WHY ARE YOU SAYING SUCH THINGS

@InspectorCaracal i mean given the panic a "sounds gay, bro" can induce in a pack of frat boys, it's just sensible tactics honestly

@InspectorCaracal Tactical Stripping As Battlefield Technique, a treatise by the esteemed Ms. Bayonetta, with a forward by

hold on i've got to grab to more games i haven't actually played for this peak archetype

Ghiraim, who showed up to casually menace Link in a zelda game i haven't played (see following: https://media1.tenor.com/images/32d16f9cecf689258e2e5b9aa80ab366/tenor.gif?itemid=13471668 )

also y'all please observe this really really terrible t-shirt that keeps making me laugh SO fucking much i cannot express why or how but i keep fucking losing it

the people who look at porn on pinterest with their real name and facebook account just hanging out there are braver than any us marine

@InspectorCaracal i'm going to blame vampires for this

either that or this is like the anime equivalent of that one ancient chinese general where everyone was all "oh shiiiit you guys he's really good at tactics what's he gonna do" and what he did was he rode out and started just juggling

and everyone was so wigged out thinking that this was the first part of some totally bonkers plan that they ran the fuck away

there was no plan. (except juggling)

i love my dog even though she considers me a very inconveniently shaped pet bed most of the time by all of the shoving i get

anyway please imagine that this post is me tiredly padding around in a circle three or four times and then finally flopping down to sleep

and by sleep, i really mean leaning back my recliner after setting down my laptop and dimming the lights a little and putting on a podcast

me: noooo i can't take a nap i need to stay awake

me:

me: wait a second i think i'm kinda allowed an after-dinner nap while recovering from surgery

my catgrill remains pretty.

@InspectorCaracal yeah i think it went pretty well!!!! honestly i'm just excited for fucking VALIDATION, like... yeah shit was fucked up ins and now i got the pictures to prove it

i think doubling up my cbd dose and being really diligent with ice packs and naproxen are going to get me through but i am a little YOU GUYS. at the doctors honestly

like GIVE A BITCH A BREAK Y'ALL

i'm holding out as best i damn can and i think i may be able to make it, but they uhhh didn't actually give me ANY increase in pain medication for post-surgery

i was on oxycodone 5mg handling my base pain, now i'm on... percocet 5mg

so like

same thing

but with tylenol in there too

also this is apparently the worst day of post-op pain and I'm Really Feelin It Mr Krabs

my dudes i wish i had money because there are so many worthy people to give money to and yet i have none to give and it sucks.