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oh no i said aloud that i saved a bark box for my dog to open tomorrow for crimmas and now she's looking at me demandingly because she knows the phrase 'bark box'

:battery_full: :battery_ok: :battery_low: :battery_empty: are honestly emojis that every spoonie should have available. and :psyduck: is just a rich unadulterated Mood

i can't help it. :yell: is just so good. it encompasses so many emotions. so many possum-ey emotions. :trashfire: , too. how am i supposed to properly express myself without :yell: though? i have been shown the way, and the way is yelling possums, and i am not going to divert from my scream at own ass path. 🍑 :yell:

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reason i am most likely to be banned from this website:

smuggling emoji to discord servers

so to complete my posting for tonight, and bring it around to the holidays y'all, please enjoy youtube.com/watch?v=PVJzibVS2Y this

like how do you work that into your home decor exactly. "so here's the snowglobe i got on vacation, and here's the little statue that my aunt got me a couple christmases back, and here's THE COMMISSION OF MY AU DARTH VADER,"

or maybe that's the whole thing... like some sort of spider, i draw them in with cute shabby chic design, and then as they're admiring the latest from target the doors close and IT'S TOO LATE, EMPIRE STRIKES BACK IS PLAYING, IT'S VADER TIME,

i have the sketch minttuu did for me and i should frame it and hang it somewhere but like

idk if i can take grumpy old man au vader just judging me from somewhere

and the newest, by hoiist, who really has done an absolutely gorgeous job drawing this grumpy old asshole who occupies far too many of my braincells

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to really make myself at home i need to do a spam of some commissions, so.

please look at my shitty au from my fanfic Masquerade that i am too invested in.

commissions by, in order: blinkingkills, jakface, minttuu, takens

people can apply to use the word "thicc" after writing me an essay demonstrating that their character would not be able to fit in any straight sizes, top or bottom, at abercrombie and fitch circa 2013 ( huffpost.com/entry/abercrombie ). then and only then can they use a word meant to celebrate plus-size beauty to describe their characters

i'm banning the word "thicc". the internet is allowed to have it back after they demonstrate knowledge that fat deposits places other than the thighs and possibly the tits, and learn to appreciate a soft tum. but until that point it is cancelled

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"so thicc~"
pictured: two slightly larger thighs and a size negative fuckity waist

Heisenberg’s Boys Principle: You can either crack open a cold one with the boys, or know that they are back in town, but never both at the same time.

so does anyone here know german and is ok with taking one for the team by decyphering a nsfw caption 

because this is by far the best sexy krampus card (yes there are more apparently it was like a fad for naughty postcards in the 60s and 70s in germany) and i am DESPERATE to know what the hell it says and what scenario is going on here

also dad bod krampus and i'm here for that for sure

anyway, it crimmas, and y'all know what that means: youtube.com/watch?v=dFpctGEGSj IN THE NAME OF OUR LADY OF DOMESTIC HISTORY RUTH GOODMAN AMEN!!!!

hypothesis on why some christmas songs Go That Hard 

so the songs that follow in this tradition end up a bit edgier by default, and it may be why the ones that still stick around seem so drastically out of place. they are the outliers when there has been enormous pressure to make christmas a holiday light, bright, clean, and only full of good feelings - instead of recognizing the christian holiday comes with a recognition of immense sacrifice.

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Computer Fairies is a Mastodon instance that aims to be as queer, friendly and furry as possible. We welcome all kinds of computer fairies!