Harp the Wigglytuff @wigglytuffitout@computerfairi.es

anyway that's today's salt i suppose, and a reminder that the people who make fan content for you - fanfiction, fanart, fanmixes, etc. - do so for the low low price of nada, bupkis, and zero. please don't be pushy and entitled! please don't try to guilt trip them or harass them into giving you more free content to enjoy! definitely tell them how much you enjoyed it, and if you're genuinely worried about them, you can reach out in a kind way, but remember That's A Real Person Making This Stuff.

i mean i won't do this because god knows, if they haven't read all the explanations of this before now, the people this is trying to target would continue to not read any of what i'm saying, and so it would unfairly punish the people waiting patiently

but damn if i don't sometimes get irritated and want to yell I AM NOT WRITING AS OFTEN AS YOU WANT BECAUSE I AM DISABLED! I KNOW IT'S A BUMMER BUT CHRONIC PAIN IS MORE OF A BUMMER! YOU'RE GETTING THIS FOR FREE ANYWAY SO STFU!

in my darkest hours of fanfictioning, as i explain for the fifteenbillionth time of "yes i do want to finish Masquerade, but i want to finish it properly, and right now illness is preventing me from doing that, so i am trying to just push around some dreck to keep my hand in, pls stop yelling", i often consider uploading a new chapter of Masquerade that's just an author's note saying for every comment i get yelling at me to update i will be moving the time of that update back six weeks

at this rate i'll write it and the first comment is going to be

"you labeled this sidlink and also zeldalink and also "all of hyrule is now a polycule converging on link" which are all great things i'm into, but this appears to be a thinly veiled treatise on the domestic worldbuilding of the zorua?????"

a secondary obstacle is one part of my brain going "okay! here's your hurt-comfort setup! end of the game link's mostly dead, zelda panic-teleports them to the zorua domain, aaand GO" and got back a response of "no no wait the hurt-comfort can come later, let's plot out a comedy scene as all the sharkfolks run around in a panic trying to find clean clothes of some type for zelda to wear after she takes a shower. frantic sewing shenanigans is some choice comedy, right?"

ngl i have a plotbunny running around in my head as i play botw, and the main obstacle is

figuring out how to actually write zelda as zelda, and not "a hundred years of hangin' in there against ancient evil mean i have developed a sense of humor that i've clearly borrowed from Hawkeye of M*A*S*H. listen it was a lot of time for reruns okay? also what's a princess got to do to get a cup of coffee around here, fuckssake. i need that energy for subtly messing with link outta love" zelda

"LINK WHY DID YOU TAKE SO LONG TO DEFEAT CALAMITY GANON"

"had to be friends with every horse"

so here is Bluebell, Berri, and newest/best stats horse i've gotten yet, Bess!

why is she called Bess? 'cos i think the vashti bunyan song is a plausible thing for link to cheerfully hum as he trots along https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fwvrYZnVjSQ

#botw #gameing

mostly because they're trying to make a like... tortilla goldfish cracker happen. but it's not all corn? so it's just... it's a weird half and half that falls down on either way you're expecting it to be, and has an odd bitter note in it that i'm not sure how they got at ALL in there.

back to my white trash dreams of acquiring that shaker of ranch dressing seasoning and combining it with a regular-ass bag of cheddar goldfish

i regret to inform you all that ranch goldfish crackers exist, and they are... not good :(

note that the peripera water tints are actually very good, it's just that they are not kidding about the tint part. like, y'all, they do not fuck around in the pigment department. "haha it's like water it's going to be at least a little dilute" My Friend It Is Not!

they last a long time and are amazingly effective but i also always end up with my fingertips dyed the same color in the process of trying to get it on my lips in the right spots so

makeup in sephora: eyeliner sharp enough to kill. assert yourself with red. become the very picture of listless and grim models who do not smile because of laugh lines. serious makeup. for serious people.

asian beauty, in the distance: hey yo y'all want some makeup in a fukin' uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh miniature fridge

me: MINIATURE FRIDGE????? OH BOY WOULD I!!!!!!!

so i found a buzzfeed article of "gifs to retire in 2014".

what do y'all recon, a few more years in the cellar before they're of a proper vintage? https://www.buzzfeed.com/jessicamisener/19-gifs-we-should-all-retire-in-2014

i am a 1950's housewife screaming in absurd terror as she stands on top of the table except there are no mice, there are only chemistry problems

every time hardcore chemistry shows up on my dash i need y'all to imagine me giving a comedic shriek before tossing my laptop away from me in the most hilarious manner possible

if anyone needs me, i gotta go have Southern Girl Who Read Too Much Miss Manners In Middle School the vapors,

because a friend just told me that she just saw, at her aunt's funeral, a pageant queen arrive wearing her crown and sash. for the whole thing. to the funeral. the whole fucking funeral. crown. sash. at. at a funeral. a Funeral. A FUNERAL

"harp, did you just delete and redraft that just to shove your nonsense in a tag?"

.... yea