Harp the Wigglytuff @wigglytuffitout@computerfairi.es

me rushing out of the shower at 11:40 screaming about how dehydrated i am and chugging an entire gallon of lemonade before i get cut off at midnight bc of impending surgery

except tomorrow morning i can't do any lotion or even deodorant so i am going to be just

The World's Dryest Human

just fuckin desiccated y'all. gonna be like dehydrated beef jerky ganon in the botw2 teaser

i've figured out the way to trick myself into wanting to do this gauntlet of pre-surgery showers and it's simple folks

i just add a layer of self care spa day

anyway the storm has passed now but earlier the power went out - flickery, then fully out, then back up in under a minute - and just before i heard something outside give a very distinct VOOOOM noise

not organic but also not car-related sounding mechanical

so uhhhh i'm guessing that's what an unhappy transformer might sound like idk

"is that an icon of amethyst from steven universe stylized, or is this a sexy femme grimace from mcdonald's" and other questions i didn't expect to ask myself but here we are

i hope dwarf fortress never gets updated graphics

not because i hate the game. quite the opposite. i've never played it because i am terrified at how into it i might get. if it was like Sims 3 level of graphical detail, i would never get anything done in the rest of my life

so i saw this screenshot a friend linked on twitter https://twitter.com/LejayXIV/status/1158040083221504000?s=19

and in response

i quickly mspainted together all i could think of

Stupid Sexy Urianger strikes again #ffxiv

cw'd for eye contact + while not technically nsfw i feel like it is in the spirit of nsfw in that it would be a bit of a doing to explain to a nosy boss glimpsing it over your shoulder

ah fuck okay i should go the fuck to sleep i gotta be up in 7 hours to get up to go see the lawyer about appealing my disability benefits getting taken away because they declared me 'totes fit to work' literally less than 2 weeks before my surgery and so i see a lawyer the day before surgery ha haHAa AHA AHAH.

anyway

goo nite

please imagine this post but retold in like, spooky story around the campfire where somebody's holding a flashlight under their chin, for full effect

bad news: tops are real on mastodon but the wish for a top to be on masto was granted by the monkey's paw so all you got is me

the cishet girl domme

Sorry Everyone

there's sensitive skin and then there's My Fuckin Face apparently, which is less "omg yeah my face is soooo sensitive, if i sleep in my makeup i get a pimple the next day!" and more "i failed to bring the wrathful gods proper sacrifices of chamomile... they looked upon my choice of cucumber instead.... and declared... i had chosen...... poorly.........."

Harp Is Your Face's Skin Ecology The Old Knight At The End Of Indiana Jones And The Holy Grail?

basically yeah lmao

another extremely petty whine:

so this is after me babying on it for two days, my face is still ANGRY at me for DARING to use a (sensitive skin.) makeup removing wipe last week

how angry?

i just counted after taking a photo, 32 pimples on my face and neck lmao

at least it don't hurt as bad as it did last night

also i'd make a bingo card for my masto account but it'd just be

TOO MANY FUCKIN WORDS

in every square

anyway "video game stories suck", often meaning "i didn't interact with this interactive story and it ended up doing nothing for me, so this sucks", is going to be the new version of "they paid how much for this?! my kid could do that! modern art is bullshit!" send toot

anyway it's time to get on with the worst part of pre-surgery nonsense: showers three days in a row.

as someone who could only collect spoons for two a *week* if i was *lucky* because of pain i expect this is going to end with me sobbing in the tub while someone hoses me down with a garden sprayer

moritori te salutamus and all that bullshit, stay tuned for further rampant whining

at some point it's just somebody saying "anyone who has cried because of a piece of music needs to read a fucken book, like music has any good writing in it, gawd"

a book and a piece of music are two fundamentally different things by definition...?

i'm probably just Not Getting The Cool Hip Masto Kids Joke but goddamn if i wanted to be surrounded by people with flagpoles up their asses i'd go back to the english department to get shamed for not dry humping james joyce continuously or w/e

of course a video game is going to be different than a book or a movie, on account of it being a video game. good and compelling and genuinely interesting stories can be told in this interactive way taking advantage of this interactivity, the same way good comic books take advantage of being sequential art instead of a print-out of a script.

if a work is good because it's in a certain medium, you can't just substitute it with an entirely different medium and say it's better now