Harp the Wigglytuff @wigglytuffitout@computerfairi.es

me: oh no this person is talking about 'if i've softblocked you' i hope they're not talking about me on this post i see on my timeline because i am following them i hope i didn't get softblocked!!!

my brain:

me: ......wait

the tribble episode is probably guinan having to fight rumors that she's making moonshine from all the excess tribbles happening everywhere as tribbles typically do

whether this is true or not will be left. .........unclear. but hey the customers weirded out by it come back so

the special that has become a permanent menu item is "the picard day special: tea, earl grey, hot, with enough rum in it to deal with whatever bullshit is happening today" (aka rum, neat, with a tiny droplet of tea carefully applied to the top by pipette)

also tribbles happen at some point, because they are the best part of star trek sorry it's just facts

new star trek tng spinoff series idea:

guinan

it's just guinan chilling in ten forward, solving people's problems for them, and inventing sometimes-topical new cocktails (today's special: "the warrior's drink", prune juice with a floating layer of jagermeister, which is set on flame before you drink it)

but honestly this type is also the sort to accuse you of eating a baby every breakfast because you had scrambled eggs

and not be talking about the cost of factory-farmed laying hens etc etc

nope they just freak out because egg must equate to cute baby chicken, and refuse to think any more on the subject, while directing all their ire at *you* because you got a boiled egg in your lunch

...it's some of the most city slicker bullshit i think i've ever heard

similarly, if it's shocking that chicken is chicken, i'm not gonna trust in that dude's in-depth critiques of any farming system since he apparently just realized farms existed like two days ago

and i know with great surety that due to privilege, he's not bothered to learn anything about cooking beyond the superficial

because wtf did you think the giblets came from in your chicken roast, eh? that they make harvest vegan chicken hearts and put them in there for kicks?

there's a certain type of evangelical vegan i am very tired of - the one who is genuinely shocked that meat is critters and thinks that's a secret that has been kept from people and all they need to know to change their minds

there is definitely stuff that gets lost in factory farming, and having it all processed - but also -

bruh? if you are surprised about what chicken is and you're over the age of 12? that's kinda on you

the real lesson i learned at college is that if you just kick out the guy who's going to invent coca-cola after he flunks all his classes, you too can be absolutely rolling in filthy lucre!

Thanks, Emory!

on one hand, as an emory grad, i feel like i should be making a lot more of my regular "sorry, i'm contractually obligated to shill for coca-cola now due to my student loans" jokes

on the other hand, i'm pretty sure that i'd get cancelled for being an actual corporate shill when my aim is to just poke massive fun at my alma mater

seriously though the gene for processing folic acid that goes wacky in an estimated 40% of people is called

MTHFR

and like

i am just a simple wigglytuff.

how can i not call it the Samuel L. Jackson Motherfucker Gene.

i feel like between my bachelor bio degree and all my years of being disabled/a professional patient, i end up regularly smuggling out knowledge to my friends

"man i wish i knew why i was tired and my hair was so brittle -" "HAVE YOUR DOC CHECK YOUR THYROID LEVELS AND CONSIDER ADDING A MULTIVITAMIN, ARE YOU TAKING METHYLFOLATE? HERE LET ME EXPLAIN THE MOTHERFUCKER GENE TO YOU -"

anyway purism is peak regrettable cishet upper class white dudebro and proof that silicon valley needs some sort of mass relocation program so that every single person within it is some sort of minority who understands that technology can and will be (mis)used to harass/injure people by those invested in doing so, and that blue-sky "i believe the best uwu ethics!!!" thinking will not prevent this but instead enable evil send toot

"if you don't like it, just do it yourself the way you want" is a bullshit attitude that pushes people away from open source culture/software and is fundamentally classist, ableist, etc, , because it ignores that computer science is trying its damndest to remain a cishet white techbro clubhouse. this attitude is a nice slice of victim blaming - "well it's your fault for being denied the opportunities to have been denied"

don't @ me i'm right and know it.

ok i think i should let recent followers know: I Really Know Jack Shit About Development. i have never used linux, i took one (1) entire course of "computer programming for non-cs majors" to fulfill my math requirement in college and promptly forgot all the java i learned as soon as the class ended

the only programming language i've come close to knowing/mastering is hexxing petz.

so uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh listen i just barely know enough to spot some hot tea don't expect much y'all