Harp the Wigglytuff @wigglytuffitout@computerfairi.es

if we have an incarnation of ganondorf that grew up gerudo, fought his destiny, and then... realized at the last moment there was only one way to keep the curse contained, and that was sacrificing himself... willingly or unwillingly...

is he so angry now because he remembers a thousand years ago, being made champion, fighting side by side with a princess... who shoved him into the darkness to save herself...?

why's there a shrivelled human form in the ruins?

is it ganon? or is it the remains of ganon after becoming host to an entity that wants to torment link and zelda forever?

and what better way to torment them than to hijack link's body, and drive zelda mad knowing she has to be the one to kill link?

(it might even be with the similarity in haircuts that we play zelda pretending to be link and doing a lot of WE'VE GOT IT ALL HANDLED CITIZENS DON'T PANIC and/or having to rebuild trust and ties after it all goes to hell.)

if the deep lore is that this entity is supposed to be because Demise (from Skyward Sword) cursed Link and Zelda to torment them forever - thus we have Ganon in all LoZ games - and if Calamity Ganon was supposed to have given up his human form...

(it makes sense to me from a gamedev point of view bc it means there's a good reason for no new-game-plus or import of progress over in a potentially gamebreaking way - switch of protag means a forced fresh start. and taking link out at the beginning means nobody gets much chance to quibble about how it's not THEIR link etc etc. people have been demanding playable zelda for years, too.)

so. what if. "calamity ganon" is not that-shrivelled-corpse-we-see as much as it is some more eldritch horror that hops from body to body. what if it's only calamity GANON now because GANON was the ancient hero who helped to seal it away.

what if we're playing zelda realizing that sealing away the calamity monster is done by making the hero its new host, and desperately trying to figure out how to undo this/find a third option to save link

so i just posted this on discord and i'm also going to dump this here because if i'm right, if i'm actually on the money with this, i'm going to become THE MOST SMUG PERSON ON THE ENTIRE PLANET.

so.

so the ancient hero in kass's song/etc. is shown depicted with red hair, unlike the princess's blonde. link has brown-blond hair.... gerudo got red hair tho. and so does calamity ganon...

i can tell it's a cold night because i was able to catch one of the toad friends - a smaller buddy, i think might be a slightly different species - and talked to it a bit, it didn't even stink eye at me too hard

i carried it over to some good leaves and was all "here you go, i'll open my hand so you can jump off now" and it was a good 15 seconds of PLEASE WAIT, JUMP.EXE IS LOADING before it boinged off

i guess alligator snapping turtles are just nature's "your toes.... hand 'em over", honestly

i am starting to think i am the only person on the planet who is not that upset at the lack of complete pokemon coverage lmao

but this is probably because... i'm not actually that interested in pokemon home, and i don't really transfer pokemon from game to game. at some point my team is as much a part of the setting for a game that it just doesn't interest me, or just plain feels weird

every animal crossing villager is good EXCEPT the motherfucking clown sheep.

he knows what he did

anyway to pay the fanfic rec forward, if you're an atla fan, may i recommend https://archiveofourown.org/works/424469/chapters/710772

i need to get caught up on it but it is an utter delight of good writing. how good is the writing?

it's so good i need to do close rereadings of it as a study in how to do battle scenes, and it makes sokka/azula a believable and compelling ship.

That Good, folks.

i have a terrible thing to admit, folks: i am an awful fanfic snob. i can count on one hand the fanfics i've read in the last... ten or so years, despite writing (or at least... starting...) tons of the little bastards.

but goddamn if that giraffe don't know how to pick 'em because this is a DELIGHT

nobody:

absolutely nobody:

nobody at all in #splatoon2 's player base:

me: the final splatfest goes beyond the struggle between the two hosts, the struggle of id versus superego, to introduce hidden lore. consider pearl, the wild child too affluenza'd for consequences yet yearning to be free of her gilded cage, versus marina, raised to be a cog in the octarian military-industrial complex and seeking that familiar order, fed might-makes-right as virtue. in this essay i will

burning questions as i play breath of the wild include "why does mipha have lipstick though" and "okay i'm now fully on board what are the fav link/prince sidon fics out there. go team fish boyfriend"

lord save me from the tantrums of delicate techbros, basically.

do i have a headache? yes. am i grumpy about this? yes.

am i still right? *also* yes!

if companies don't want people to comment to them directly on bullshit being peddled, there's a great way for them to do this:

put it on a static webpage with no comment section instead of social media

anyway put your odds here that reply comes directly from an employee of whatever techbro-nonsense-du-jour it is, who is now wounded beyond belief that nobody wants to trust the techbro-nonsense implicitly and that someone would be as crass as to not buy the bullshit