Millie @Atatra@computerfairi.es

I'm not a kind enough or gracious enough person to sit at the same table as transfems who've had grs, it feels like abandonment, assimilation into a privileged class, and I know that makes me a bad person but I don't have it in me to get over that jealousy

Sitting here seeing posts by other transfems who are talking about having had grs and just, being filled with hatred and loathing and jealousy knowing that I'm not even being seen by the NHS gender service yet let alone on the way to getting a grc or any kind of surgery. I'm barely diying my hormones with official GP support and it hurts to see just, joyful talk about something it feels like I'll never get

hey folks, i know the cost of living crisis is hitting everyone right now, but we're hurting pretty bad, just having the money to spend on food and little luxuries is hard on a single disability benefit, if anyone has anything to spare, we could really do with it https://gofund.me/580dbcb4 #mutualaid #disabled

being disabled and kinky is an exercise in trying to explain to people that i want to be unable to walk because of something i wanted, not because of something that wasn't my choice

"hi yeah, can you bring me a pot of freshly ground, dark roast coffee, two slices of chocolate cake, spank me until i cry and then cuddle me afterwards, please and thank you"

in that period mood of needing to eat everything sweet i can get my hands on, drink two pots of coffee, lay in bed and cuddle, and have unspeakable things done to me by a cute girl. you know, hormonal stuff

maybe i just spend the day making character playlists for the three main characters.....maybe

people say days go by isn't a proper offspring song because it's so different from their other material but god damn it works so well for elena and stargazer and i've just been stimming to it over and over thinking about their characterization

sitting on my laptop listening to music, vividly imagining scenes from the story i'm meant to be writing but am actually not currently because my brain won't work, you know, one of those days

there are shotguns out there, shotguns more than 30 years old, built on the AK rifle platform that can take drums that hold more than 30 12 gauge shells and be modified to use a full auto AK rifle trigger group. we had the tech in the 80s to make a shotgun that can dump 30 rounds in 5 seconds, although we haven't invented wrists and shoulders that can match that yet