My animals are my support system - they provide 100% unconditional love. I've had the same two dogs for 16 years.
In April Little Miss' kidney disease got to the point I had to make the compassionate choice for her. And today I did the same for Little Man. My heart is breaking, and I don't know how to handle it.
It's the weekend here, so Scooter gets to sleep a few minutes later, but breakfast is ready when she is.
My dogs and my parrot are my life. They're my support system, my confidantes, my unconditional love. This week I may have to make the end of life decision for one of the dogs. I'm handling it by - not handling it. The decision won't be here until it's here, if it gets here, and I'm not considering it until then. The other half is dealing with it by falling apart.
I know mine will be worse, if it comes to that, but it's better right now. Now is where I am. Now is where Little Miss is.
Little Man has decided the best place to sleep is in my chair. He used to scramble out of it if I came over. These days he'll look up at me, yawn, then go back to sleep.
That's OK, he's a very old Little Man, he's earned it.
I'm resurrecting an old special interest and making it new. As a child I wanted to put together models, but I'd get impatient and want to skip to the end. That doesn't work. In my adult life I've developed a love of process - creating a list and checking things off one at a time. I've checked off nearly all the things to prep, and in my time off during the holidays I'm going to begin putting together a model. My first as an adult.
That point in your dog's life when you know the end is coming up sooner than you like, and you want to cherish every moment, so you let him steal your chair for a nap and you just sit somewhere else.
This whole thing about nuclear trains reminds me of something I got caught up in a while ago. I'm a Trekkie, and I ran across a diagram of a starbase, with dimensions (based on size in relationship to ship, etc.). I started a spreadsheet, it got more and more complex.
Those things are HUGE. 2,000 acres of parkland. Hundreds of millions of square feet in deck space. Nominal population of over 2,000,000 people, and that's with low population density. I still have it, somewhere.
So... me. Work in aerospace, more space, not as much aero. Can fix my own car, choose not to. Can fix the random appliance of your choice. Hardcore introvert in person, which is why I love online. Lifelong science fiction fan. Read constantly. Scalzi is my favorite author, because he mixes exactly the right amount of snark into his writing. Together with a guy 30+ years, married since it was legal. Own a home in CA and don't plan to leave unless I immigrate to another country.